I’ve seen Pan’s Labyrinth at the cinema three times, it’s so frigging beautiful. When you watch it, remember to bring your glasses. Many moviegoers are not aware that it’s in Spanishâ€”an understandable mistake since the director also did Blade 2 and Hellboy in English.
The second time I watched it was with Ricky, who will not stand for talking or texting at the movies. Naturally he is always surrounded by people who won’t shut up at the cinema. Years ago, at a screening of Ocean’s Eleven, he found himself sitting in front of a bunch of women who would giggle every time Brad Pitt appeared on the screen. Brad didn’t even have to say anything to get them all excited. When Ricky could stand it no longer, he turned around to yell at the women, only to find that they were nuns. Nuns with a crush on Brad Pittâ€”what can you do?
Anyway, we were watching Pan’s Labyrinth when the couple to the left of us started yakking. We could hear every word. Apparently the woman could not bear to see violence onscreen, so the man had to describe what was happening. I tried shushing them but they wouldn’t stop. Finally Ricky got up and went over to them. “Please keep your voices down, we’re trying to watch the movie.” The woman said, “We’re just whispering.” “We can hear every word!” Ricky cried. “You ridiculous people!”
Ten minutes later, the people to the right of us started up. Their topic was linguistics, viz. “Oy, ayuda daw, parang Bisaya!” This time we couldn’t do anything because they were senior citizens and were probably hard of hearing or something. “There’s no escape!” I laughed. “We get it in Sensurround!”
Here’s the shocking part. When the movie ended and the lights went on, the guy to the left, the one who was describing the movie to his girlfriend, came over to apologize. “Sorry about the talking earlier,” he said. “Sorry.” I was so shocked that someone would actually admit his fault, I said, “Alright. Thank you.” I’ve gotten so used to uncouth jerky behavior that when I hear people say “You’re welcome”, I almost do a double-take.