JessicaRulestheUniverse.com

The Bakla Review and The McVie Show present the Ten Gayest Pinoy Commercials of the Noughties. Congratulations to our friend Ricky who directed numbers 1 and 5. In tribute here is a still from Spartacus, directed by Stanley Kubrick.

Meanwhile, as you already know, Tim Robbins is back on the market, following his split from longtime partner Susan Sarandon. According to reports, Sarandon, 63, has replaced Robbins, 51, with a 31-year-old New York ping pong club owner.

Of course we feel bad for Tim, who is lovely, smart, a liberal, and the star of The Player and Shawshank Redemption, but in a world where men in their 60s routinely dump women in their 50s for women in their 30s, Pong!

Remember in Julie and Julia where Amy Adams’ character’s biggest challenge was boning a duck?

Apparently some ducks have prodigious penises. Absurdly long ones, some as long as the duck’s entire body. And they’re corkscrew-shaped.

Kinkiness Beyond Kinky, in The Loom.

Ah, now you view Daffy and Donald with new respect. Motherquackers.

Reader: Leo Abaya, UP professor, production designer, visual artist

Leo’s favorite reads in 2009

1. Napoleon’s Privates: 2,500 Years of History Unzipped by Tony Perrottet (erudite historical trivia)
2. Errante Golondrina: The Life and Times of Josephine Bracken
3. Design as Art by Bruno Munari
4. Documentary now! Contemporary strategies in photography, film and the visual arts by Jean Francois-Chevrier
5. Myself, Elsewhere by Carmen Guerrero Nakpil
6. Legends and Adventures by Carmen Guerrero Nakpil
7. Exeunt by Carmen Guerrero Nakpil
8. Ways Around Modernism by Stephen Bann
9. The Yamamoto Dynasty by Sterling and Peggy Seagrave
10. The Counterfeiter and Other Stories by Yashushi Inoue (sad stories)

“Since I also wear the hat of a teacher, which means my job is to read, too, I excluded the ones I read for specific academic purposes.”

From Michael P: I was watching Dr. Who today and there was a reference to the Philippines. The year is 2059 and the Doctor shows up at the first Mars colony Bowie Base One. Nobody knows who the Doctor is, and one of the crew speculates he may be from the Philippines since it is rumored the Philippines was building a Mars rocket.

The Waters of Mars on Dr. Who

Volcanic bumpy boulder on Mars from the NASA Astronomy Picture of the Day archive.

Swiping Russian novels will throw your back out.

Ever stolen a book? The New York Times kicked off the discussion with this essay by Margo Rabb, who points out that the most booklifted books include the Bible and the works of Martin Amis.

Flavorwire followed with The Most Shoplifted Books of Modern Times.

Meanwhile, Lauren Leto stereotypes people by their favorite authors. “Jeffrey Eugenides: Girls who didn’t get enough drama when they were younger. Lauren Weisberger: Girls who can’t read. Or think. Tom Clancy: People who skipped school by hiding out in the gym. Gabriel Garcia Marquez: Men who can’t lie but will instead be silent if they know you don’t want to hear the truth.”

Noel wanted an apartment with a chandelier, not a chandelier with an apartment. So he made his own, based on a design he’d seen in a book. That design used champagne flutes. Instead of glasses, he used bottles.

He found a stash of Magnolia Choco-Vim bottles at a vintage store (Somebody told me that an “antique” has to be 100 years old at least) in Cubao Expo.

Choco-Vim, infant readers, was a chocolate drink that was popular when we were kids in the 1970s. I used to drink Choco-Vim during recess time.

Noel and his decorator cleaned the bottles and strung them up with lights. Voila.

A piece of Seventies nostalgia dangling from the ceiling. You can see it at Noel’s house, which I call “Jackie O in the Hamptons”.