#2 gambala. 15-year-old boy hears strange noises in the backyard, investigates, sees Maria from next door having sex with someone, takes a closer look and sees himself getting it on with Maria. Very nice prose but it feels like an episode from a larger work, say a novel about the martial law years, rather than a standalone piece.
#3 rice_cooker. “I have never been the sharpest tool in the box,” says the narrator, who proceeds to talk like a Miriam Defensor Santiago impersonator and call attention to her vocabulary. Narrator sees her doppelganger and supposedly freaks out but this is how she puts it: “The shock of seeing myself standing and chitchatting with Marie — my only ally in this political wasteland of an office — sent me reeling. As always, in fight or flight situations, I opted to run.” Form follows content: prose must express the protagonist’s sense of urgency. Writing “rage” and “kill” in all caps is not enough.
#4 Cacs. Who is the narrator then?
#5 winnerific. The exposition is confusing and we’re not in the mood to untangle the plot but the writer gets the point of the exercise: Meeting your double is creepy.
#6 ouroboros. We’re probably missing some vital plot point but if the doppelganger has been killed who is messing up her life?
The winner of LitWit Challenge 5.3 is gambala. Congratulations and good luck on your novel! Please post your full name in Comments (It won’t be published) and we’ll alert you when you can pick up your prize.
We need to invent a new schtick.
The Weekly LitWit Challenge is brought to you by our friends at National Bookstore. The next challenge is coming up.
* * * * *
gambala, your prize is waiting for you at the Customer Service counter of National Bookstore in Power Plant Mall, Rockwell, Makati. Just give your full name to the staff. Yes, you can send someone to pick up your books. Any time from now till June 30, 2011. Enjoy!