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About The Hunger Games, the much-anticipated adaptation of Suzanne Collins’s bestselling Young Adult novel, directed by Gary Ross and starring Jennifer Lawrence, Liam Hemsworth, Woody Harrelson, Lenny Kravitz.

1. We liked the novel, an engaging melange of Shirley Jackson’s The Lottery, the reality show Survivor, the Japanese action movie Battle Royale, the grandpapa of dystopia George Orwell’s 1984, among other sources.

The filmmakers like the novel too much. Hunger Games the movie is overly stately and respectful: it proceeds at about the same pace as a reading of the book. Unfortunately, reading the book takes more than two hours.

2. While Jennifer Lawrence is excellent as the protagonist Katniss and the guy who plays Peeta is perfectly cast (milksop), we don’t feel like she’s in any real danger. And she’s supposed to be fighting for her life.

3. The competition is short on thrills.

4. We see Liam Hemsworth at the beginning, after which we have to subsist on tiny rations of his Liam Hemsworth-ness. Yeah, we know that’s what happens in the novel but this is a movie. During the parts that dragged we pondered the essay question: Liam or Chris?

5. Lenny Kravitz looks great. The gold eyeshadow does something for him.

6. The cliché about the book being better? Repeat.

7. Almost forgot: Bad geography. We have no idea where any of the combatants are in relation to the “cornucopia” or what the terrain is like. Everybody’s running, but we don’t know where to or from.

Ricky pointed out that the combat situation requires plenty of wide shots but all we get are close-ups. Is this a low budget movie?

Inside Gaudi’s Sagrada Familia, photo by Juan.

Consolata reports that on the evening news last Sunday, a priest was discussing Lenten practices and reminding the flock that they need not make panata that require physical torment–‘sakripisyo tulad ng pagpapako sa krus, tulad ng flagiarism…’

He meant ‘flagellation’. But do refrain from ripping off other people’s work at Lent and throughout the year.

It’s for their parents and people old enough to remember the TV show.

While enjoying the movie we realized how weird our childhood was. For starters: the love story of a pig and a frog. Inter-species romance!

Yeah, we cried when the muppets sang Rainbow Connection. We’re not sure if it was a Pavlovian reaction, or if it was nostalgia for our crazy childhood.

The weekly Muppet Show was about a bunch of plucky, not very talented performers and bunglers who somehow managed to put on a show every week. We loved them precisely because they were ordinary people creatures who just wanted to entertain the audience.

The Muppets is a movie about a guy learning to let go of his imaginary friend. Good songwriting.

On Monday we tried 7 doughnut varieties at J. Co Donuts and Coffee, which opened last week at the Mega Strip, Megamall Bldg B in Mandaluyong. No we did not eat all the doughnuts—we weren’t running a marathon afterwards nor did we have a defibrillator in our bag.

Oh all right, we ate the whole Alcapone and then Franco confiscated the Green Tease. But for all the other flavors we took just one bite each. This required an iron will.

We chased down the doughnuts with a cup of J. Coppucino. We recommend drinking this cappucino without sugar, the better to taste the coffee. The beans are grown in Indonesia, where J. Co was born.

L-R: Mona Pisa, Alcapone

1. Mona Pisa. Our taste buds were primed for doughnut so they got confused: this one has the texture of a doughnut but it tastes like pizza. Weird, but likeable—good for a quick breakfast. (As Munch noted in Law and Order: SVU, coffee and doughnuts is the breakfast of champions.)

2. Alcapone. J. Co’s bestseller in Indonesia, with good reason. Much as we like doughnuts, most doughnut brands are too sweet—after three bites you get a sugar high and start running around the room; 15 minutes later you crash. The Alcapone (as in mascarpone) is just sweet enough, with cream filling and lots of sliced toasted almonds to give it an interesting texture.

Clockwise: Blueberry More, Green Tease, Avocado DiCaprio

3. Blueberry More (like Barrymore, get it?) is a cake doughnut with cream filling topped with blueberry jam. The cake is soft but solid, not airy.

4. Green Tease, as the name proclaims, has a subtle green tea flavor that fools your brain into thinking you’re eating something healthy. It is our credo that all yummy things consumed in moderation are good for you. This is our second favorite in the bunch.

5. Avocado DiCaprio. Strange at first taste, but it grows on you quickly. It would never have occurred to us to fuse the concepts “avocado” and “Leonardo DiCaprio”. By the way do you realize that Titanic came out 15 years ago? So when the 3D reissue opens, teenagers and people in their early 20s will be shocked at skinny young Leo without the grooves between his eyebrows.

L-R: Jacky Chunk, Heaven Berry

6. Jacky Chunk. Chocolatey and peanut-y, a combination that always works.

7. Heaven Berry. Too sweet for us and way too pink.

We also tried the Cheezy Rich. Cake doughnut with four types of cheese equals ensaymada.

All J. Co doughnut varieties cost 42 pesos each. A box of 6 goes for P230, a dozen P350, two dozen P550. Two dozen doughnut holes—J. Pops—cost P250. The Cheezy Rich is P45.

J.Co also serves yogurt with a variety of toppings—we picked lychee. Good way to end our doughnut sampling session—we walked out on our own power, with a box of partially-eaten doughnuts.

Could it be that the reaction to Arnold Clavio’s statement is so passionate because he’s…uhh…because he umm…because he doesn’t look like the Azkals?

To take Clavio’s side would imply that you look more like Arnold Clavio than Phil Younghusband or Neil Etheridge.

Read our column in InterAksyon.com.