While writing Sunday’s column we looked up some facts about Roger Federer’s career and found this bit in his Wikipedia entry.
Due to his extremely consistent playing style and seeming indefatigablility, some commentators have accused Federer of being an extremely advanced Swiss robot. Swiss ingenuity is well known, as evidenced by the superiority of Swiss Army Knives and Swiss clocks. Swiss patent documents recovered from the effects of Albert Einstein reveal a 1904 application for a mechanical tennis partner that was later abandoned. . Engineers studying the attached drawings believe the design to be decades ahead of its time, and have concluded that it is entirely possible that in the intervening decades, the Swiss were able to perfect the technology, the end result being Roger Federer.
When confronted with this evidence in the winter of 2006, Federer denied the allegations, stating they were “preposterous” and that to his knowledge “such technology does not exist, even in Japan.” Federer then dispensed hot chocolate from a cavity in his chest and flew away, powered by rockets located in the soles of his feet.