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Twisted by Jessica Zafra – Pumping irony since 1994
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Archive for April, 2018

Here is our spoiler-filled review of Avengers: Infinity War (Of course not, or we’d have to beat ourselves up)

April 25, 2018 By: jessicazafra Category: Books, Movies No Comments →


Our updated Marvel Chris Rankings

Hilarious.
Intense.
Thrilling.
Delivers on threats.
Hurts our hearts.

Also: Dinklage!

Filipinos in cast
1. Drax
2. Ned from Midtown Science High

What are your favorite poems?

April 23, 2018 By: jessicazafra Category: Books 20 Comments →


Watch the video on my cats’ Instagram.

I was having drinks with Von and Jon when the talk turned to poetry. “Do you like poetry?” Von asked. I like poetry, I have so much respect for it that I don’t even try to write poetry. Then we started enumerating our favorite poets, and I’ll always be a lit major because I started considering them by period.

Jon said his favorite was Frank O’Hara, particularly Animals and Steps.

Animals
by Frank O’Hara

Have you forgotten what we were like then
when we were still first rate
and the day came fat with an apple in its mouth

it’s no use worrying about Time
but we did have a few tricks up our sleeves
and turned some sharp corners

the whole pasture looked like our meal
we didn’t need speedometers
we could manage cocktails out of ice and water

I wouldn’t want to be faster
or greener than now if you were with me O you
were the best of all my days

Here’s Jon Hamm in Mad Men reading O’Hara’s Mayakovsky. (I love the New Yorkiness of Frank O’Hara.)

Von likes Warsan Shire, whose work appears in Beyonce’s Lemonade.

If I spend a lifetime figuring out Lolo Bill Shakespeare it’ll be a life well spent.

This wondrous nonsense. (And these wonderful translations.)

These bits from ordinary life. (I’ve mentioned Jim Jarmusch’s Paterson, no?)

Wislawa Szymborska, whom I am reading to prepare for Poland. (The book I borrowed from Deo, whose birthday is today.)

Lovesong by Ted Hughes is terrifying. “Their heads fell apart into sleep like the two halves/ Of a lopped melon, but love is hard to stop.”

I’m just getting started.

Do you have a favorite poem? Post the text in Comments, or a link to the video if one exists.

Prince, 1958 – 2016. Forever in our hips.

April 21, 2018 By: jessicazafra Category: Music No Comments →

Dearly beloved
We are gathered here today
To get through this thing called “life”

Electric word, life
It means forever and that’s a mighty long time
But I’m here to tell you
There’s something else
The afterworld

A world of never-ending happiness
You can always see the sun, day or night

So when you call up that shrink in Beverly Hills
You know the one, Dr. Everything’ll-Be-Alright
Instead of asking him how much of your time is left
Ask him how much of your mind, baby

Cause in this life
Things are much harder than in the afterworld
In this life
You’re on your own

And if the elevator tries to bring you down
Go crazy!


Heretofore unreleased footage of Prince rehearsing Nothing Compares 2 U, a B-side which became a hit for Sinead O’Connor six years later.

Going to Poland in May, looking for Filipinos to talk to

April 18, 2018 By: jessicazafra Category: Books, Places, Traveling 2 Comments →


Photo from Simply Cracow

I’ll be in Cracow, Warsaw and Gdansk in May to write additional essays for my travel book. Are you a Filipino living in Poland? I have questions for my never-ending world domination research. Let’s meet.

Since I like to read novels set in the places I’m visiting, these are my current assignments: an Alan Furst WWII spy novel, and a 19th century Polish novel. Plus some Andrzej Wajda and Kieslowski movies, and The Saragossa Manuscript, and I’m all set.

Have you been to Poland? Any recommendations?

Update: Meeting up with greeneggsnham, who is doing Central Europe. (“Sana masarap ang hopia sa Poland.” Haha)


P.S. Ngayon lang nila na-gets.

We’re forming a band. Got any suggestions?

April 16, 2018 By: jessicazafra Category: Music, Projects 5 Comments →


When we sat down to brunch someone who looked like Fernando Torres was sitting outside. We should’ve taken the photo immediately because he was replaced by not Jason Statham.

Who knows what happens in my murky subconscious, but I woke up the other day thinking: I have to form a band.

So I told my friend Aye, who had an all-girl band called Chain Gang, and she said, “Let’s!” Aye plays bass and can hum the bassline of anything. In college she was our supplier of Rolling Stone and cassette bootlegs. I have no musical ability, but I have excellent training in how not to manage a band. Also I used to hang around bands and volunteer to write their liner notes. I love liner notes, if I had my way albums would look like Criterion Collection packages. (Kids, look up “albums”.)

First I have to catch up, because I stopped listening to new music in the early 2000s. At which point my musical tastes started moving backwards in time (Tom Waits, Steely Dan, bop). Aye made me a playlist which includes An Army of Lights, Bombay Bicycle Club, and Yuck. While I’m cramming, we’re waiting for a name to come to us.

– What’s Naomi (Chain Gang’s vocalist) doing now?
– She’s a voice talent for dubbed Korean TV series.
– You mean like The Prince of Boazania?
– Yup.
– Maybe we should call ourselves The Prince of Boazania.

Or Our Feline Overlords. Or Keanu Reeves.

Obviously we have to find instrumentalists. I’m thinking open auditions in June. Prince (in denial), Wendy, Johnny Marr, Peter Buck, Annie Clark and The Edge need not audition.

I’m still thinking of ground rules, but off the top of my head:
1. We just want to play.
2. Implosion is inevitable, but we’d like to delay it as long as possible.

Your thoughts?

Drogon is 6! Today he is The Oracle. Ask him all about your future.

April 12, 2018 By: jessicazafra Category: Cats, Cosmic Things 35 Comments →

Happy Birthday, Drogon Targaryen-Targaryen!

Do you have questions about life, love, work, cats, sleep, tennis, hair, coffee, sex, hopia, music, dogs, space, ink, paper, travel, anything that matters? Ask The Oracle!

Post your questions in Comments or @jessicazafrascats on Instagram. Then go and feed a stray cat, or watch A Quiet Place. By the time you come back, your answer will be waiting. Quick! The Oracle gets bored easily.

* * * * *
From Shona.

Happy Name Day! I hope to survive April, the cruellest month. Will I be able to?

Drogon says: Of course you will survive April. For starters you have to drop T.S. Eliot (It’s only temporary), and muse on other lyrics about April. I do not mean “Early morning, April 4,” because we know that the assassination occurred in the evening. Also: assassination.

I suggest e.e. cummings. Not April-specific, but spring.

Spring is like a perhaps hand
(which comes carefully
out of Nowhere)arranging
a window,into which people look(while
people stare
arranging and changing placing
carefully there a strange
thing and a known thing here)and

changing everything carefully

spring is like a perhaps
Hand in a window
(carefully to
and fro moving New and
Old things,while
people stare carefully
moving a perhaps
fraction of flower here placing
an inch of air there)and

without breaking anything.

Believe that all will be well.

Next!