Twisted by Jessica Zafra – Pumping irony since 1994

Archive for the ‘Announcements’

Great books, fabulous tchotchkes, ridiculously low prices at our Bookshelf Sale on Saturday, 25 June.

June 21, 2016 By: jessicazafra Category: Announcements 5 Comments →

BookSALE 1

This silver teapot is perfect for your Downton Abbey cosplay. Remember to let it tarnish slightly because anything that looks too new is tacky.

We have no idea who this is, but now you can claim him as your ancestor! “Oh yes, that’s my great-grandfather, the Viscount Harington. You know my cousin, Kit? Yes, he’s in show business, Grandmama had a conniption.”

You’ll never have vampire problems ever again with this ornate crucifix. One look and the bloodsucker will cry, “I love it! Where did you get that?”

Something artsy, something useful.

Hate wet rings on your tables? Just cover every surface with coasters.

More items to follow.

Happy Birthday, Francine!

April 04, 2016 By: jessicazafra Category: Announcements No Comments →

Me, Francine, Bubbles

Why stop at one day? Take the whole week!

Here’s the new flyer for our Writing Boot Camp

March 15, 2016 By: jessicazafra Category: Announcements No Comments →

flyer - p1

flyer - p2

flyer - p3

Designed by Anne Tamondong. Please spread it.

Let’s turn our backs on Pacquiao. Erase him from all your social media accounts.

February 20, 2016 By: jessicazafra Category: Announcements, Current Events 7 Comments →


Ordinarily we ignore the pronouncements of people who get hit on the head a lot in the line of work, no matter how ignorant, vile and barbaric they are. But this person is running for office, this person we have looked upon as our champion. We will not stand for this. You don’t fuck with my friends, asshole.

So delete his picture, his name, any indication of his existence from your blogs, your Facebook Twitter Instagram, all your social media. You don’t have to say anything other than “I have deleted Pacquiao from this post.” The deletion IS the statement. Talking about him will only increase his chances of getting elected. Let’s forget his existence.

We will not have this blight upon our community of human beings. Erase him. You have that power.

* * * * *

To all our straight guy friends: Don’t just stand on the sidelines chuckling as if this were some melodrama that involves only the LGBTIQ and the girls they are friends with. This is not about sex or gender, this is about being human. Don’t just be guys, be mensches. Just do it (Thank you, Nike).

We held our Free Workshop last night. It was a blast and nobody was killed.

February 19, 2016 By: jessicazafra Category: Announcements, Workshops Comments Off on We held our Free Workshop last night. It was a blast and nobody was killed.

Yikes, I look demented.

Ninety-five people attended last night’s almost-instant Free Workshop at the WSI Corporate Center. I had a blast, and I especially enjoyed listening to the participants’ story ideas and pointing out the approaches and directions they can take.

Many thanks to our friend Juan for letting us use the WSI conference hall, Victor Yang and the techs at WSI for setting up the facilities including the video conference and audio recording perfectly, and our original workshop elves Roni, Angus, Deo, Momelia and Bubbles for manning the registration desk.

You and your group of up to 20 (even 30) people can book your own workshop on any of these subjects:

The Essay
The Short Story
The Personal Essay (Memoirs)
The Novel
Writing for Beginners
Movie Reviews
Travel Essays
Interviews and Personality Profiles
Feature Articles
Writing Refresher Course
Starting A Book Club

Each workshop is tailored to your requirements, and can take from one to four two-hour sessions.

Workshops can be held at your office or a venue of your choice. If you do not have a venue in mind, we can book a conference room in Makati for you.

For inquiries, or to book a workshop for your group, email

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About the teacher

Jessica Zafra is a columnist at the Philippine Star, BusinessWorld, and InterAksyon. She has written two collections of short stories and a dozen Twisted collections of essays on film, literature, travel, rock music, popular culture and politics. Her work has appeared in the New Yorker, Newsweek, the Hong Kong Standard, and The National. She was editor-in-chief of Flip: The Official Guide to World Domination, and the annual literary journal Manila Envelope.

Outside of publishing, Jessica has hosted talk shows on the FM stations NU-107 and K-Lite, and the TV show Points of View. She is an executive producer on the film Norte by Lav Diaz and screenwriter of Esoterika: Manila by Elwood Perez. Her new TV show will premiere this year. Visit her website,

I’m giving a Free Workshop on The Craft and Practice of Writing on Thursday, 18 February at 630pm. Book your seats Now.

February 15, 2016 By: jessicazafra Category: Announcements, Books, Workshops 38 Comments →

drogon fang

Wait, weren’t you supposed to do your first workshop for the year at Ayala Museum on Thursday?

It’s been cancelled.

I got an email at 8am saying, “Due to low turnout of participants, we have to cancel the workshop for Movie Reviews.”

Oh, really? The day after my second announcement appeared in the Philippine Star? With four days to go, when historically participants wait until the very last minute to register and pay the fee? The first workshop of the year, without which the series straggles along like a headless corpse?

“We will push further with the rest of the workshops,” the email went on to say, whatever that means.

What for? Just cancel the entire series for the year.

Then I had a brainwave: I’m going to do workshops and organize them myself. And since I’m free on Thursday anyway, I’m going to give a FREE WORKSHOP, how about that? Yes, the first taste is free. I think I’ll call my workshop You Do Not Cancel My Motherfucking Workshop. Naah, I’ll call it THE CRAFT AND PRACTICE OF WRITING. For anyone who has ever contemplated the writing life.

Thursday, 18 February, 1830 at the office of BBDO-Guerrero, Frabelle Building (the one with Wildflour on the ground floor), Rada Street (up the street from Union Church), Legazpi Village, Makati.

You need to register by posting a comment here, or sending an email to Quick, quick, quick, I need to know how many people will turn up.

The more I think about it, the more I like this idea. Why do people piss me off? Don’t they know I live for conflict? Oh right, I’ve been quiet and polite for a long time. Screw that. I’m taking the swords out of the lockbox. See you on Thursday. Tell your friends. Tell everybody. Tweet and repost this.

Update: Here’s our low turnout count as of 1100 of Thursday the 18th.

Registered on Comments section: brewhuh23, Momelia, balqis, santi01 + 1, cookie, Jules, unlimitedgrubgrabs (If you are a spammer, your ass is dead), leiastrud, themark, Leoj, paulaxgianna + 1, tsitai + 1, Ronigurl, kittyb73, gerezimdelapena, Angus, egfallorina, jichuacuco.

Overseas, will attend via video link: spooky, primavera579, alpha12, toyomansi, Cacs, Miray, traceea. To avoid bandwidth issues we are no longer accepting participants via Skype. The address will be emailed to you.

Registered by email: Christian, Carla, Glaiza, Florence + 1, Pb + 1, Murshamir, Erlyn, Dylan, Kate, Fidel, Shala, Jove, Niccolo, Mikhaela, Judith, Irish, Nelson, Kate, Leonora, Johanna, Joanne, Wenz, Dolarica, Marvin, Ancel, Jessica, Joyce, Roch, Rizza, Glaiza Mae, Lucille, Fatima, Roxanne, Albert, Tim, Jeffrey + 1, L.A., Gielizza, John Paul, Anna, Aldrin, David, Grace Anne, Antoniette, Martika, Joe, Anna, Dan, Nissa, Jenica, Rizza, Polly, Chuckie, Marisol, John Michael, Hanniel, Monique, Patricia, Mikaela, Nora, Melissa, Pia, Cherry, Barbie, Bianca, Jhantzen, Angelico, Phia + 1, Jayne, Roselle, Maika, Amy, Janina, Patricia, Kalel, Zoe, Pia, Jannah, Mary Grace, Katherine, Camille, Lynn, Rosette, Chuck, Denison, Hans, Jerome, Agel, Bong, Paula, Michaelo, Christine, Patricia, Janus, Jamaica, Mafe, Jannica, Elai, Lei, Dinnah, Kate, Sharmaine, Mikee, Kim, Emman, Aldrine, Mari, Chenie, Romina, Jules, Christine Ingrid, Lyka, Chrixy, Rosette, Ronalyn, Zonel, Franco, Joy, Tami, Sandino, Aytch, Judy.

15 from BBDO Guerrero
2 from Campaigns & Grey

We are no longer accepting participants, so stop grovelling. We expect that not everyone who registered will show up. If you registered, you had better make sure you appear or you will be barred from any future workshops. You think I’m kidding? This is serious shit.

The venue is

7th floor, WSI (Wordtext Systems) Corporate Center
1005 Metropolitan Avenue (beside Ecoville, near the Makati Fire Station)
Makati 1205

This is a map to WSI.


Ask me again where the venue is and YOU’RE OUT OF HERE.

Do not ask me when the next free workshop is. WHAT ARE YOU, CHEAP?

Participants, “Be there by 630” means “BE THERE BEFORE 630.” Of course there’s traffic. DEAL WITH IT.

Do not be late. THE GATES CLOSE AT 630.

And if you have to ask if you can take selfies with me, YOU HAVE NEVER READ MY WORK, GET OUT.

If any of this causes you distress, forget about writing altogether because YOU DO NOT HAVE THE SPINE TO BE A WRITER.