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Twisted by Jessica Zafra – Pumping irony since 1994
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Archive for the ‘Cats’

The hearty quiche and the saucy menu

October 28, 2014 By: jessicazafra Category: Cats, Food, Language, Places, Traveling 12 Comments →

stairs

We expected to pass out any minute from jet lag, so we had dinner in the neighborhood. Our friend took us to a restaurant called L’été en pente douce. Meaning “Summer on a gentle slope”—slope, as in the side of the hill, which requires climbing these stairs. (A second flight of stairs takes you to the basilica of Sacre Coeur. A week or so of this and we should have quads of steel.)

l'ete

The restaurant serves a very good quiche, which is a meal in itself. We had champagne, this being our welcome dinner. A glass of champagne is only slightly costlier than 6 ounces of Coke. Around here Coke is more expensive than the house wine, so have the wine.

Even before the quiche arrived, we were royally entertained by the menu, in French and English versions.

ass of summer

According to various translation apps, the title means “the pot-gossip of summer” or “the pewter-pot summer”, but according to a native it could also be interpreted as “the ass of summer”.

personal of room

The translations, though perhaps overly literal, sound very grand. The French menu even asks: “Do you have an emptiness?” Why do restaurants back home never ask us existential questions?

dry so very dry

Who could resist “a dry wine, so very dry for a muscat that it causes raised eyebrows among wine connoisseurs”?

We were so fascinated by the menu that we had to ask for a copy. The waiter feigned hurt and said, “If you’re just going to laugh at it…” but we assured him that it was the laughter of genuine admiration. The menu doesn’t just offer specials, it proposes them. (“We are the only restaurant to offer this” becomes “We are the unique restaurant to propose this.”)

montmartre cat

Outside, a cat waited to be served.

The original vampire, the height of charm, and the emotional support animal con

October 17, 2014 By: jessicazafra Category: Books, Cats, Clothing, Current Events 3 Comments →

Links we like:

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Lord Byron: Not just Byronic, vampiric

John Polidori was the personal physician to George Gordon, Lord Byron. Byron was often horrible to him. Polidori felt his famous client was sucking the life out of him, so he wrote The Vampyre in 1819 (Dracula by Bram Stoker was published in 1897). Read The Poet, The Physician, and The Birth of the Modern Vampire.

In Italy, people who wear glasses are called quattr’occhi (four eyes). Angelo Flaccavento finds glass-wearing individuals to be the height of elegance and charm. We don’t know how true that is, but we like to think so. Thanks to Lali for the link.

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In America, people can take their pets everywhere by flashing a card claiming that they are “emotional support animals”. This is an insult to our cats, who regard us as their emotional support animal. Read the hilarious investigative report by Patricia Marx. In the photo above, she tests the emotional support card by taking an alpaca to the drugstore.

Conversations with Cats: Cannibalism

October 10, 2014 By: jessicazafra Category: Cats 1 Comment →

1
Drogon: Saffy says you’re going to eat me.

2
(Flashback.) Saffy: She’s fattening you up to make you into a nice prosciutto.

(more…)

Koosi’s last pictures

October 02, 2014 By: jessicazafra Category: Cats 3 Comments →

17sept13
Taken 17 September 2013. She appeared to be in perfect health.

23sept13
23 September 2013. She hadn’t been eating and drinking. She went inside a pet carrier, signifying that she wanted to go to the vet.

It’s exactly a year ago tomorrow that our cat Koosi died. She was buried by the guardhouse, under the sturdy Talisay tree. According to the building staff, a couple of dogs had been been buried there the previous year. Later renovations were done and a some steps were built on the spot. So Koosi has her pyramid, with slaves to accompany her, Ancient Egyptian-style.

Koosi, 1999-2013

We’re turning 8 on Wednesday

September 22, 2014 By: jessicazafra Category: Announcements, Cats 6 Comments →

8a
Not Drogon, he’s only two.

JessicaRulestheUniverse.com will have its eighth birthday on Wednesday, 24 September 2014, and we’re marking the occasion by giving away a bunch of prizes. Check in on Wednesday to find out how you can get some of the loot. This is our way of thanking you, our readers, for joining our ongoing discussion on Books, Movies, Cats, Tennis, and other singularities.

What did the rest of the outfit look like?

September 18, 2014 By: jessicazafra Category: Antiquities, Cats, History, Places No Comments →

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1,500-Year-Old Claws Intrigue Archaeologists in Peru
By Alan Boyle

Archaeologists in Peru say they have unearthed the previously unknown tomb of a nobleman from a pre-Inca civilization known as the Moche. The tomb contained the remains of an adult male, plus artifacts indicating the man’s elite status, according to the Peruvian newspaper El Comercio.

Among the most intriguing artifacts are ornamental metal pieces fashioned to look like feline paws with claws. The paws may have been part of a ritual costume used in ceremonial combat, El Comercio reported. The loser would be sacrificed, while the winner would get the costume.

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We need those gloves in order to level the playing field in our household. Maybe our cats will take us seriously and stop treating us like their serf. Not likely.