Twisted by Jessica Zafra – Pumping irony since 1994

Archive for the ‘Cats’

What did the rest of the outfit look like?

September 18, 2014 By: jessicazafra Category: Antiquities, Cats, History, Places No Comments →


1,500-Year-Old Claws Intrigue Archaeologists in Peru
By Alan Boyle

Archaeologists in Peru say they have unearthed the previously unknown tomb of a nobleman from a pre-Inca civilization known as the Moche. The tomb contained the remains of an adult male, plus artifacts indicating the man’s elite status, according to the Peruvian newspaper El Comercio.

Among the most intriguing artifacts are ornamental metal pieces fashioned to look like feline paws with claws. The paws may have been part of a ritual costume used in ceremonial combat, El Comercio reported. The loser would be sacrificed, while the winner would get the costume.

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We need those gloves in order to level the playing field in our household. Maybe our cats will take us seriously and stop treating us like their serf. Not likely.

Doggy Drama: The mystery of the smelly hallway

August 28, 2014 By: jessicazafra Category: Cats 4 Comments →

Anton and Kiko on the couch, from which they have been barred as they have been exiled to the kitchen.

Our friend Edd has two pampered Shih Tzus, Anton and Kiko, both eight years old. We kid him that they are high-maintenance because they have a full-time yaya to clean up after them, they have a bath twice a week, and they get sent to the vet every month for grooming and to have their butts vacuumed. (“Dogs have their butts vacuumed?” laugh our cats, all ex-pusakal.) In short, they have better hygiene and grooming than most people.

Three years ago, Edd and his dogs moved into a unit in the Greenbelt Chancellor, a Megaworld building in Legaspi Village, Makati. Things were fine until August 3 of this year, when Edd got a call from the receptionist saying there had been a complaint from his neighbor about the “foul smell of dogs”. The neighbor who made the complaint was not identified.

Edd did not detect any bad smells emanating from the dogs. Like us, he has sinusitis and is especially sensitive to odors. But he took the neighbor’s complaint seriously, and the very next day he send the two dogs to the vet to have them shaved for easier grooming. He had his condominium unit cleaned and scrubbed thoroughly. He installed aromatherapy whatnots so his house smells like a spa. He had the dogs bathed every other day, and restricted them to the kitchen.

Last August 22, the building administration sent him a strongly-worded letter citing “numerous and repeated complaints from the other residents…about the foul smell of your dogs.” None of the neighbors had said anything to Edd. The letter went on to say “(his) attention was called about the matter on several occasions by the security personnel but (he) ignored and continue to ignore the problem.” None of the security or maintenance staff had said anything to Edd.

Now here is the part that caused our hackles to rise. “House Rules 9.7 gives the Board…the discretion to prohibit the retention in any unit of any pet which is found to be a nuisance to other residents or kept in inhumane conditions. Therefore we hereby request you to…clean your dogs properly and immediately, otherwise…(the building association) will report the matter to the animal welfare authorities without further warnings.”

Are they suggesting that our friend is maltreating his dogs by keeping them in filth? (Thus implying that we would have anything to do with someone who is abusive towards animals.) How dare they threaten to notify “animal welfare authorities” when Edd takes excellent care of his canine companions.

If anyone’s rights are being violated, it is the Shih Tzus. Their movements are now restricted to a small space, and they get bathed more often than they need, which would dry their skin. It really ticks us off when “animal welfare” is invoked when clearly, the building doesn’t care about the state of the animals. No one has even looked in on them! They just assume the stink is their fault!

Incidentally, Edd has done pro-bono advocacy work for animal welfare, such as the Homeless, Not Worthless campaign which we covered extensively here.

As for this “foul smell” the Greenbelt Chancellor administration keeps alluding to, we went to the building to sniff it out, literally, and found nothing that can be blamed on the dogs and their devoted owner. We did notice a residual odor in the hallway that we recognize from having lived in apartment buildings for many years. It is the smell of a space with no ventilation, where the residents put their garbage out in the hallway. There are no garbage chutes.

Just three weeks ago, residents had received a memo from the building administration reminding them not to put their garbage out in the hallways. Apparently, when the building was new, residents put their trash out every morning for the maintenance staff to collect. The garbage collection policy has been changed since then, but some residents still put their trash out when the janitors don’t knock on their doors to pick it up. And you know what happens when garbage is left in a space with no ventilation.

The appalling thing is that the humans concerned have not had an actual conversation, the building administration just blames the dogs automatically. Will someone use their head and inspect the dogs before they assume that they’re the cause of the stink?


August 25, 2014 By: jessicazafra Category: Cats, Shopping No Comments →

saffy with coke
This drink has our name on it,

and so does this stuffed toy. It’s the Jessica Monster, available at La Pomme on the third floor hallway of Power Plant Mall in Rockwell, Makati.

La Pomme sells stuffed toys outside of the stuffed animal range—they’ve got clouds, ships, mermaids, fruit, cupcakes and so on. They also offer basic sewing lessons so kids can customize their stuffed toys. (Though they cannot be responsible if your kid sews “666” onto their doll.)

“Why are there no monsters?” we asked. “We want a stuffed toy monster.” Voila, Apol made one and named it after us (We’ll add eyeglasses).

Mat is 13! This weekend he is The Oracle.

August 16, 2014 By: jessicazafra Category: Cats 16 Comments →


Happy Birthday, Matthias Eomer! This weekend he will answer all your burning questions about your future. Post them in Comments.

Robin Williams is dead.

August 12, 2014 By: jessicazafra Category: Cats, Movies 3 Comments →

He was found dead in his house, an apparent suicide.

We practically memorized Robin Williams Live At The Met, and still use his jokes in everyday conversation (“It was dark, it was light, it was dark, it was light,” “…pants so tight you can see what religion they are,” etc).

We suddenly remembered that New York Times profile in which the writer described Robin Williams at the drive-through window at McDonald’s, ordering in the voice of Jodie Foster as Nell. Thank you, Mr. Williams.

Mat advises you to find your feline soulmate

July 21, 2014 By: jessicazafra Category: Cats 1 Comment →

Hello, I am Mat and I am a rescue cat. My human rescued me from hunger and homelessness, and I rescued her from boredom and sameness. We have been together since 2001. When people see me they ask what breed I am. I may be part-tabby, but I’m not sure. I do know that if you take in a stray cat, feed it properly and give it shelter and affection, he will look elegant (and sosyal) in a few weeks.

2013-11-20 15.23.06
There are many cats (and dogs) looking for the right humans at the shelter run by the Philippine Animal Welfare Society, a non-government organization which has been around in 1954. PAWS accommodates homeless cats and dogs and finds humans for them to live with.

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PAWS also offers clinic services including low-cost spaying and neutering. Spaying and neutering are important, otherwise the stray cat population grows unchecked. I was neutered in 2005. It’s better for feline health. It also curbs my urge to walk the earth so I don’t get into fights with other cats or rummage in garbage cans and eat stuff that will make me sick. Or risk getting run over, kidnapped or lost. Plus I don’t pee on things to mark my territory. I stay indoors and play with Saffy and Drogon, who are also rescue cats.

LEO re2
Consider adopting a cat. Cats are fun, as anyone with an internet connection knows. If you’re entertained by cat videos online, imagine how much more delightful it would be to have a feline housemate. Like Leo here, who loves humans.

PAWS Animal Rehabilitation Center (PARC) on Aurora Boulevard, Katipunan Valley, Loyola Heights, Quezon City is open to the public Mondays to Saturdays from 10am – 5pm. (Photos courtesy of PAWS volunteer Arnold Cabalza.)

To find out more about the cat adoption program and other activities including the Volunteer Orientation next week, visit the PAWS Facebook page.