Twisted by Jessica Zafra – Pumping irony since 1994

Archive for the ‘Cats’

Belgians respond to terror raids with cats

November 25, 2015 By: jessicazafra Category: Cats, Current Events, Places No Comments →


When, on Sunday evening, Belgian police asked citizens not to tweet about the armed operations that were being carried out around the country, anyone could have been excused for reacting with fear.

Belgian forces – searching for suspects in the aftermath of the Paris attacks – told citizens to stay indoors and not go near their windows for safety reasons.

They also appealed for social media silence about any police action users might witness – presumably to keep the suspects in the dark.

A tense time, no doubt. But Belgium reacted – how else? – with cats.

Continue reading.

Confirmation that Drogon is a royal cat, as if we weren’t sure.

November 17, 2015 By: jessicazafra Category: Cats 4 Comments →

Kneel before us!

How did he wind up on our doorstep (and we live on the second floor)? He could’ve jumped out of a moving vehicle (like Mat) or jumped over the wall of the posh ghetto not far from where we live.

Saffy the cat reviews our column.

November 06, 2015 By: jessicazafra Category: Cats, The Workplace No Comments →




She’s a harsh critic.

Halloween was the night of the All Blacks

November 01, 2015 By: jessicazafra Category: Cats, Rugby 1 Comment →

Dan Carter photo from The Guardian.

Yesterday was not just Halloween, it was also the day of the Rugby World Cup final between New Zealand and Australia.


So Drogon put on his costume and performed an interpretative dance in tribute to Dan Carter.


Carter accounted for most of the All Blacks’ points in the first half, then calmly smothered the Wallabies comeback with a drop goal followed by the longest penalty kick in the tournament.

We call it an interpretative dance, but Drogon really did not want to put the wings on and was trying to wriggle out of his costume.

Saffy would not wear her Bunnicula costume, either. If you want animals to cooperate, get dogs.

Probability of Saffy putting on costume: zero.

All Blacks over the Wallabies, 34-17. Even with the impending retirement of Dan Carter and Richie McCaw, the New Zealand team is so far ahead of the field that they could win it again in 2019.

Captain McCaw and fly-half Carter.

Drogon’s hoard: Taste of the Wild

October 27, 2015 By: jessicazafra Category: Cats 2 Comments →


Drogon thanks Taste of the Wild Philippines for the two big bags of cat food they sent over. Taste of the Wild is a grain-free, all-life stages (from kittens to adult cats) food with natural antioxidants. The Rocky Mountain Feline Formula contains roasted venison and smoked salmon so Drogon can make like he’s been huntin’ and fishin’. Each 6.8 bag will last him at least three months, even with his tremendous appetite. As you can see, he’s tucking into his new kibble. Apparently it’s so yummy that Saffy, who eats soft food because she’s had teeth taken out, likes to snack on it.

If you’re looking for good, healthy vittles for your feline housemates, let them try Taste of the Wild. Here are the ingredients:


Taste of the Wild is available at Bow & Wow stores. Even better: they deliver to your house. For information and inquiries, visit their Facebook page or email They also carry canine food.

drogon lubitsch
Drogon wants to know why we’re watching a movie when we could be watching him.

Read Are Cats Domesticated? (Yes and no, a fence-sitting answer. Like a cat.)

One cat’s campaign to get adopted

October 13, 2015 By: jessicazafra Category: Cats No Comments →

kitten in bag
Kitten, UP College of Fine Arts, photo by RickyV

His plan is simple: sneak into the target human’s bag and stay out of sight until the human gets home. Then ingratiate yourself with the human and his cohorts until you become part of the household before they even notice.

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From a longtime reader, CaitlynsMomma: Just wanted to let you know that a kitten adopted me and my daughter. Mr. Socks just showed up on my doorstep out of nowhere about 2 weeks ago. I figured he would leave once I left for work but he stayed and stayed so I took him in, got him neutered, got shots and flea treatment (found out he’s about 5 months old). I think he’s part dog because he just loves being cuddled and petted and follows us around the house. Now I know what all the fuss is about with having cats. They’re awesome!

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Cat adoption: the random cosmic method

1. Say “Cat, come here” three times.
2. Open the door to see if a cat has appeared.
3. Repeat daily until a cat does appear.
4. Offer the cat some food. (Tip: Cats love liver spread. Don’t bribe them with a whole can, just a teaspoon of it.)
5. See if you and the cat get along.
6. Take the cat to the vet for shots and flea treatment. We recommend having the cat spayed (or neutered) so she doesn’t wander off.
7. Congratulations, you’ve been adopted.

With the exception of Saffy, who was born in our dog-breeder friend’s garage, all our cats just showed up at our house and stayed.

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Photo from ZPETS

We’d like to welcome our online friends from Italy: ZPETS, a pet shop based in Florence. Check out their site. Even if you don’t read Italian, you’ll find that cat and dog people have the same concerns everywhere. (Should we bathe the cat? Why does she stare at me all day? Why does he ignore the expensive toys we buy him and go straight for the box?)