Twisted by Jessica Zafra – Pumping irony since 1994

Archive for the ‘Cats’

Pop-up book sale and signing at Cibo in Shangri-La tomorrow, 28 June at 2pm

June 27, 2014 By: jessicazafra Category: Announcements, Cats, Projects No Comments →

Behind Saffy: A handwoven rectangular bag in a banig weave from Antique. Rene is having some book bags (smaller than this) made in this design; they will be available in a few weeks.

Saffy reminds you that we’re having another pop-up book sale and signing at Cibo on the second floor of Shangri-La Mall at Mandaluyong on Saturday, 28 June 2014 at 2-4pm.

You can buy your books there at Php399 for one and Php699 for both, or order them at The Library of Babel online store.

Caption these photos of Drogon with Sherlock

June 25, 2014 By: jessicazafra Category: Books, Cats, Contest, Television 5 Comments →




Drogon is named after one of Daenerys’s dragons and Sherlock’s actor is the voice of Smaug so they are related.

Write a caption for these photos (or if you’re really bored, an entire story about them) and post it in Comments before 11.59pm on Friday, 27 June 2014. The composers of the two best captions will each get the Bantam Classic paperback Sherlock Holmes Complete Novels and Stories by Arthur Conan Doyle, courtesy of National Bookstore. (Buy your own poster.)


Every Russian Novel Ever

June 19, 2014 By: jessicazafra Category: Books, Cats 2 Comments →

drogon russian
Drogon believes good posture is essential to reading Russian novels.

1. A Philosophical Murder

2. A Washerwoman Is Insulted

3. The Student’s Emotional Isolation Is Complete

4. The Estate Is Sold Off

5. Uuuuuughhhh

6. An Argument That Is Mostly In French

7. It’s Very Cold Out And Love Does Not Exist Also

8. The Nihilist Buffs His Fingernails While Society Crumbles

9. There Is No God

10. 400 Pages Of A Single Aristocratic Family’s Slow, Alcoholic Decline

11. Is This A Dinner Party Or Is This Hell?

Read on at The Toast.

It was Saffy’s 14th birthday yesterday. Today she is The Oracle.

June 16, 2014 By: jessicazafra Category: Cats, Cosmic Things 16 Comments →


She will only answer questions about your future.

Post your questions in Comments.

Also, The Oracle says, Buy our human’s new books at The Library of Babel online store. We’ll be having pop-up signings at different venues in the coming weeks.


Ask us a question and we’ll answer in a sound file

June 13, 2014 By: jessicazafra Category: Cats, Health 31 Comments →

saffy drogon nap
Saffy and Drogon taking a nap.

Aaargh, we’ve been described as “incoherent” and “non-responsive”. Even if we had brain fever at the time, we don’t like it. So ask us a question, any question, in Comments from today till Sunday and we’ll post the answer as an mp3.

Tina says “brain fever” sounds like we caught something during an archaeological expedition in Victorian times and have to check into a sanatorium in Baden-Baden or Davos where we sit looking at the mountains with a blanket on our lap…while agents from British Intelligence pass us notes.

* * * * *

Here are the answers to the first three questions:

The next two questions:

More questions:

Thanks for posting your questions! Turns out we are incoherent and disorganized, but that’s our normal level of incoherence and disorganization.

In recovery; reunited with cats

June 04, 2014 By: jessicazafra Category: Cats, Current Events, Health, Pointless Anecdotes 20 Comments →

Mat has been holding down the fort. He hired someone to clean the house while we were away. Clever cat.

We can count on the fingers of one hand the number of times we’ve been confined in the hospital: three. Fractured skull at age eight—a formative experience requiring primitive encephalography (See Pinhead). Typhoid fever at age ten or eleven (“natipus” with very interesting hallucinations involving talking animals). There should probably have been more hospital stays, but we thought we were invincible.

Monday afternoon we decided we were over the flu so we were going to a meeting at Rockwell at 4:30. We never made it to the meeting. When we came to we were on the floor of the shower, with the water going glub glub down the drain like a basic remake of Psycho. We staggered out of the bathroom to find one of our bookshelves flung against the refrigerator. What the hell was going on?

We threw on some clothes, picked up our bag, and left the house. But we couldn’t step off the stairs. The distance from the last step to the floor suddenly seemed insurmountable, and we sat there until we could figure out how to traverse this vast distance. The security guard must’ve notice that we were stuck on the stairs, and summoned the building administrator. She came around and asked us a series of questions. We don’t recall our answers exactly, but we were making no sense whatsoever. As far as we could tell we were speaking gibberish (Hmmm maybe after a weekend of flu meds were could understand Aramaic at last.)

The next thing we know, we’re at the ER of Makati Med and everyone we know has turned up in answer to the hospital summons. Our sister appeared in a black and gold ballgown, which is not her regular attire, but it was her wedding anniversary. Next we’re having an MRI and a cat scan, and we’re so out of it no one even has to tell us to lie vewy, vewy still.

Initial tests showed that our sodium and potassium levels were way down. Hell, we thought low sodium was good and we should eat a banana like Rafa and Andy between games.

This typing is making us very, very tired. Later.