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Twisted by Jessica Zafra – Pumping irony since 1994
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Archive for the ‘Cats’

The Adventures of Cat-cat

March 27, 2012 By: jessicazafra Category: Cats 3 Comments →

- Hello, Mat. What are you up to?
- Sssh! Don’t reveal my secret identity!
- Sorry, I didn’t know you were in superhero mode.
- Can’t you see I am in costume?
- But–you’re not in costume.
- This IS my costume! I have no costume, for I am…Cat-cat!
- Huh?
- Cat-cat, scourge of villains everywhere!
- Explain this to me. Batman is a man dressed like a bat. So you’re a cat disguised as…
- A cat! Isn’t it clever? No one would ever suspect a cat of being disguised as a cat.
- You are bats.
- And you are having this conversation with a cat.

Since they put it this way, how could we not watch Morrisey?

Toxo and the science of possession by cats

March 24, 2012 By: jessicazafra Category: Cats, Science No Comments →


One of the pusakal adopted by the staff of the Peninsula Manila.

For years we’ve been telling you about Toxo, a.k.a. Toxoplasma gondii, an extremely clever parasite that is found in cat poop. How clever can a parasite be if it resides in poop? Extremely.

Toxo is picked up from the soil by other animals—pigs, sheep, cows, and especially rats. This parasite then lives in their brains and tissues. Humans have the same genes as other mammals and may also harbor toxo.

Before you freak out and try to boil yourself or overdose on purgatives, relax. We don’t know if you have toxo. Touching cats won’t give you toxo, unless you somehow ingest their poop…

Read our column Emotional Weather Report, the Pet Life edition, today in the Philippine Star.

Seeing things our way

March 20, 2012 By: jessicazafra Category: Cats, Clothing 2 Comments →

Tom Ford is sending us a message.

Hmmm we’ll think about it.

If they were neon or purple there’d be no question.

Going to Cebu

March 16, 2012 By: jessicazafra Category: Cats, Places, Traveling 2 Comments →


Accessories for cat people, as if we need more reminders of our cats when their fur is all over our clothes: eyeglass case, Ricky’s pasalubong from France; three cats on two fingers ring, present from Brewhuh; cat watch by Kid Robot for Swatch; cat ring with moving paws from a cat-themed store in HK; black and white cat earrings, Jeffrey’s pasalubong from Japan.

We will be in Cebu this weekend for the Vaseline Men XTERRA competition. Of course we’re not participating, are you insane. We’re not into blazing sunshine, sweat and activities that require physiotherapists. However we are happy to report on same, as long as we get to travel.

Tomorrow we’re checking into the Crimson Resort and Spa in Mactan. We will be free from around 5pm, and plan on going to SM City to check out Forever 21 (their branch is bigger and better than the ones in Metro Manila). Sunday we’re covering the event then flying home after lunch.

Anyone here from Cebu? Could you recommend places where we can find interesting accessories, esp earrings?

Rome, City of Cats

March 11, 2012 By: jessicazafra Category: Cats, Places 2 Comments →


Roman cats, 2009. Photo by Ige Ramos.

Cats own Rome, I’d read. I suspect that when the Roman Empire collapsed and its buildings fell to ruin, cats took over. And cats, as biologists will tell you, are great invaders. When domestic cats were introduced to Australia they made a buffet of the local bird species, some of which have nearly disappeared.

The feline takeover of Rome probably happened much later, though. According to one theory, in the 17th century shepherds would bring their flocks to graze on the grass that covered the abandoned temples and arenas of the city. Rome had a serious rat problem at the time, and the shepherds made extra money by breeding and selling farm cats to the city folk.


Roman street tough, 2009. Photo by Ige Ramos.

Rome, City of Cats in Emotional Weather Report, Pet Life edition, our column in the Philippine Star.

Rent-a-Cat, Therapy for Loneliness

March 03, 2012 By: jessicazafra Category: Cats 5 Comments →


This is Koosi a.k.a. The Mighty Goddess Bast in 2008.

This is Koosi three days ago. She used to be a skinny cat until…ooh, topic for future column.

Stop the presses—or take that finger off the “Publish” button. Someone’s just made a live action movie starring cats.

We’ve noted the dearth of substantial roles for cats in recent movies, which is not only unjust but illogical since cats are great screen presences. You don’t even have to write a part specifically for a cat: just find an elegant character with an air of superiority and put a cat in the role. But how will the cat deliver her lines, you ask. Simple, you get a human to dub the dialogue. You should try it, it can only improve the movie. Don’t even explain what the cat is doing there, just carry on as if it’s the most normal thing in the world. Viewers will think it’s a psycho-drama, or a European art-house flick.

Rent-a-Cat, Therapy for Loneliness in our column Emotional Weather Report, Pet Life edition, today in the Philippine Star.