Twisted by Jessica Zafra – Pumping irony since 1994

Archive for the ‘Clothing’

A chastity belt for the brain

March 31, 2014 By: jessicazafra Category: Clothing, History, Places, Shopping No Comments →


Noel’s latest find from the Legazpi Sunday Market: “One-of-a-kind Cleopatra-inspired Gargantilla. Pieces of Spanish brass, turquoise, mosaic sapphire,” a.k.a. a choker. The stones give it a medieval look, but the circlet makes it science-fiction. It’s beautiful. The artist’s name is Uan, and we’re going to drop by the market next weekend to find out more.

gargantilla detail

The keyhole pendant brings to mind a chastity belt, except that you wear it around your neck. Aha, a chastity belt for the head. To keep people from thinking about sex. Of course, wearing it guarantees that you will think of nothing else.

The Legazpi Sunday Market is open Sundays from 0730 to 1400 at the corner of Rufino and Legazpi Streets in Legazpi Village, Makati near Greenbelt.

The week in stuff

March 28, 2014 By: jessicazafra Category: Clothing, Notebooks No Comments →

beaded front

beaded back

An elaborately decorated zippered pouch that we bought at the souvenir tiangge in Puerto Princesa for 90 pesos, now doing service as our phone case.


Funny earrings we made out of Solane LPG keychains, zero pesos. Our friend required our presence at a media lunch to introduce the LPG provider Solane’s gas-tight safety cap and seal, tamper-proof for auto/shut-off valves. The safety cap completely plugs the gas to prevent leaks. We could’ve used these at our high school chem lab, which always had a whiff of gas early in the morning. (Ah, fond memories of hair burning in bunsen burner flames. Not ours, of course.)

Simpsons Moleskine

The Simpsons 25th anniversary Moleskine notebook, Php1495 at National Bookstores. We like the yellow version better, but that one has lined paper.

villa del conte

The katana brolly of badassery

March 25, 2014 By: jessicazafra Category: Clothing 1 Comment →

katana brolly

Yesterday we ducked into a store to get out of the unseasonable rain and found not just a solution to sudden downpours, but an accessory that enhances any outfit. It’s an umbrella with the handle of a samurai sword. Picture the consternation of security as you enter a building. (Actually we have entered buildings carrying a variety of longswords, and the guards made no comment.) These umbrellas are badass. Next to those Avengers (the old British spy series, not the Marvel superhero assembly) umbrellas that contain swords.

We also got the folding version. Maybe we’ll attach the chicken tchotchkes.

Santoni’s fatto a mano su misura service: An opera for discriminating feet

March 18, 2014 By: jessicazafra Category: Clothing, Design No Comments →

The renowned Italian shoe brand Santoni has opened its first boutique in the Philippines on the second floor of Shangri-La Plaza East Wing in Mandaluyong. It is distributed by Lucerne, local purveyor of Patek Philippe, Breitling, Breguet, Panerai, IWC and other luxury timepieces. If you’re so fastidious about what goes on your wrist, you can’t wear just any shoes, no?

Santoni shoes are valued for their handmade workmanship and rigorous construction. The store carries Santoni’s Man, Woman, Junior, and Accessories collections, including sneakers. The styles for women are vertiginous so we do not covet.

What we do covet are their bespoke shoes. For the discriminating client who is prepared to pay for perfection, Santoni has a fatto a mano su misura service (shoes made by hand and made to measure, it sounds more dramatic in Italian). The process of making shoes to your specifications takes at least two months. First your feet are measured and lasts—wooden models of your feet—are made. Then the shape of the shoes is decided upon and the hides and materials selected. Finally the color is chosen. You are involved in each step of the process. The long wait for your unique custom-made shoes is part of the pleasure.

The media kit included this beautiful leather keychain,

leather earrings
which we turned into a pair of mismatched leather earrings.


March 10, 2014 By: jessicazafra Category: Clothing, Design No Comments →

During his regular trip to the Sunday market at Legazpi Village in Makati where he buys suman and plants, Noel discovered these spectacular eyeglass frames embellished by artist Sunny Garcia.
These are statement glasses, and their statement is: “Get out of our way, you’re boring.”

Sunny also makes jewelry and other fabulous objects.

The battle for the little golden naked man

March 02, 2014 By: jessicazafra Category: Clothing, Movies 3 Comments →

Infographic from Jezebel. Click to enlarge.

We haven’t agreed with the Oscar voters in ages, but we must admit that the field of nominees this year is very strong, and just about everyone in contention for a statuette deserves the nod. Of course there are glaring omissions—where’s the costume nomination for the high-waisted pants in Her?—but the day we predict every nomination correctly is the day the Academy Awards cease to mean anything. So there’s good reason to watch the awards ceremony tomorrow apart from the clothes. It would be a hoot if everyone showed up in character: Cate Blanchett in tattered Chanel, talking to herself; Amy Adams in decolletage past her navel; Jared Leto in the trashiest Gucci gown; Leonardo DiCaprio with a fine dusting of white powder crawling into the theatre on his face; Jennifer Lawrence sniffing nail polish; Matthew McConaughey looking grim and toting a big notebook (No, wait, that’s True Detective)….

lupita mtvstyle
From MTV Style, via Jezebel