Twisted by Jessica Zafra – Pumping irony since 1994

Archive for the ‘Sex’

Group-watching My Husband’s Lover (Complete)

July 24, 2013 By: jessicazafra Category: Sex, Television 20 Comments →

At dinner last Saturday our friends kept referring to MHL. Yes, the GMA telenovela My Husband’s Lover is now referred to by its acronym, saving speakers two syllables. When there is a lull in the conversation, our friends have taken to singing, “Should we stay or should we raid the fridge for snacks?” or whatever those lyrics, which we can tell you were not written by The Clash. Every time that song is played, does the network have to pay Kuh Ledesma (or the songwriters) royalties? If so, she could buy an island in the Pacific by now, that song is ringing in our ears.

Our sister’s mother-in-law watches the show every night; so do the mothers of all our friends overseas, who find that if they try to skype Mommy while MHL is on, they will be ignored. (So the next time your mom complains that you never call, tell her you were trying to reach her but she was watching Vincent and Eric.) When proper church-going ladies get addicted to a show about the travails of gay lovers (“Disente naman sila” is a typical comment) you know it’s a hit. When your friends discuss fictional characters as if they had just come to dinner, you know it’s huge.

Faithful fans post entire episodes on YouTube; others write English subtitles for the benefit of viewers who don’t speak Tagalog. Foreign audiences have caught on, and American bloggers have noticed that their Pinoy friends keep discussing an Eric and a Vincent they’ve never met. MHL has been trending on Twitter since it began airing, and it merited a rebuke from the Catholic Bishops Conference, bringing it to the attention of a wider public. TomDen/DenTom is probably the number one loveteam in the country at the moment.

We reviewed an episode of MHL early on, but that was before the show had become a certified phenomenon. It’s time to watch MHL again.

Coming up: Our thorough recap/review of the episode above, which was the first to pop up when we googled My Husband’s Lover. Join us in Comments!

Snappy answers to tiresome questions

July 11, 2013 By: jessicazafra Category: Books, Sex 3 Comments →




These and more in Anong Pangalan Mo Sa Gabi? at iba pang tanong sa mga LGBT, a publication of the UP Babaylan and the UP Center for Women’s Studies. This witty and illuminating book is edited by Tetay Mendoza and Joel Acebuche, with photographs by Rod Singh of the Babaylan members and alumni.

Oops, reflection.

Anong Pangalan Mo Sa Gabi? is available at the UP Women’s Studies Center, Php250 each (and until Friday, July 12, at the Academic Book Fair at SM Megatrade Hall 1 in Megamall).

Enlighten the obtuse! Whether you’re LGBT, heterosexual, pansexual, self-pollinating, omnisexual, amoeba, or spontaneously-generating, you need to have this book around the house.

Thanks to Allan for our copy! (He’s in the book.) For more details, read Question and Answer Portion.

Thanks to the Catholic Bishops, we had to watch My Husband’s Lovah

June 27, 2013 By: jessicazafra Category: Current Events, Sex, Television 7 Comments →

Publicity photo for the telenovela My Husband’s Lover.

MTRCB will follow due process on CBCP warning over My Husband’s Lover.

My Husband’s Lover is about a man who is married to a woman but is really in love with another man. Yes, it’s practically a documentary. No thanks, we have enough examples (Tantanan niyo na si Jun Encarnacion, ano ba, namamahinga na siya). The actors playing the lovers do not telegraph their gayness to the audience in the stereotypical manner—mincing about, speaking baklese, gushing over their make-up. They act like straight guys, and that’s probably what distresses some viewers. (“They’re fooling us! We thought they were hetero!” and “What a waste of good genes!” When Brokeback Mountain came out, we know married women who freaked out because the lovers looked, sounded, dressed, and went on trips together—just like their husbands.)

Read our column at

* * * * *

Turns out we sort of know the people behind My Husband’s Lovah.

* Our sister’s friend Paul Sta. Ana is one of the writers.

* The director is Dominic Zapanta, who has told us many gross stories. (Remember the one about the monobloc chair?)

* One of our friends had a massive crush on Dennis Trillo. He (our friend) was standing outside their building, waiting for his car, when Dennis Trillo’s car drove up. Our friend, a very visual thinker, described Dennis’s arrival thus: “Bumukas ang pinto. Lumabas ang sapatos. Lumabas ang binti. Lumabas ang tuhod. Lumabas ang shorts…”

“At hiwa-hiwalay silang lahat!” Noel interrupted.

* A couple of years ago, at a friend’s birthday dinner, Joji Alonso introduced us to Tom Rodriguez, who was starring in her production, Here Comes the Bride. “Hello,” he said, “I’m Tom Mott.”

“Like Mott Street?” we said. He said yes. “Your name is a palindrome!”

Way to talk to the cute guy, nerd.

* Andresa has a huge crush on Roi Vinzons, who plays Vincent’s father. (Just say the word, she makes killer ostrich burgers and has a wood-fired pizza oven.)

* Kuh Ledesma plays the cruel mother-in-law. Many years ago, at the defunct Republic of Malate, our friends were recalling the Kuh Ledesma movie, Tinimbang Ang Langit. Before long they were singing one of the songs from the movie, “Try A Little Suicide”.

“Won’t you try a little suicide…suicide…” complete with second voice. Suddenly they spotted Kuh Ledesma walking towards them. She did not look amused. They did a quick fadeout.

* Our best story involves a snappy retort from Chanda Romero, but we can’t print it.

James Salter finally gets some attention; readers disturbed by the sex.

June 24, 2013 By: jessicazafra Category: Books, Sex 1 Comment →

It’s disconcerting to be told that your favorite writer is a male chauvinist who embodies retrograde sexual politics, treats women poorly and describes them as meals.

It makes us think: Are we a female male chauvinist? Are our sexual politics retrograde? This is a very useful exercise. We acknowledge that we expect men to try and take charge. Try is the operative term. (Our friend asked an interesting question recently: When was the last time you obeyed a man?)

When we read Salter, we see male characters who are products of their times, imperfect beings made compelling by their flaws. Should we expect fictional creations to be fair and respectful at all times, to think righteously and stay within the bounds of political correctness? Is it Salter’s or any writer’s obligation to meet contemporary standards of how to live? We regard fiction as an alternate universe where characters are free to be exactly what they are. It would be a tragedy to police it.

Slam via spam: “Outing” the candidates

April 17, 2013 By: jessicazafra Category: Current Events, Election News Junkies Support Group, Sex No Comments →

Text spam is so much spicier during campaign season. Apart from the real estate offers from people you don’t know, and award notifications from raffles you never joined (Apparently I just won a brand-new car and P350,000, and stand to lose more if I am stupid enough to call their number), there are anonymous messages commending or attacking certain candidates. This spam from last week is so clever, it requires a second reading to determine whether it is praising or slamming the candidate.

“Friends, suportahan natin ang kafatid nating si ______! # ___ sa balota. At huwag kalimutan, Ang Ladlad #28 sa party list!”

What does it mean?

Read Ladlad o Laglag? our column at

Don’t put anything in writing.

November 14, 2012 By: jessicazafra Category: Sex, The Workplace 2 Comments →

- Especially love letters. The last words our best friend, a lawyer, said to us before she died. She knew of our propensity for writing everything down.

On a rolltop desk: Added risk of strangulation.

How Often Do People Have Sex at the Office?
By Arianne Cohen in Businessweek

As someone who reads people’s sex diaries professionally—for my books and website I collect thousands of them—I am here to report that former CIA Director David Petraeus is really just a talented guy who, considering his marital and work history, is a typical American male.

Petraeus has been married for 38 years. Very few human beings sleep with just one person in a 38-year period. Most people simply aren’t married that long. According to the Census, the majority of marriages end long before the 38th anniversary mark (the average divorce occurs eight years after the wedding), and of the marriages that stay intact for 38 years, approximately half involve at least one other sexual partner.

Various news outlets reported that Petraeus had sex under his desk at CIA headquarters. This makes his case a rare one. Although the workplace is the most common place to meet a new partner, few people actually have sex at the office—in the 3,500 diaries I’ve read, a grand total of 11 office affairs actually took place within the workplace walls. Workaholics logging long hours, particularly those working 12- to 18-hour days, account for seven of those 11. (Oh, and regarding the issue of on the desk vs. under the desk, I’ve discovered that people who prefer steadiness and balance—and the kinds of sexual positions given names such as “missionary,” for instance—opt for the floor. The desk is the domain of more acrobatic love-makers.)… Read on.