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Twisted by Jessica Zafra – Pumping irony since 1994
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Archive for the ‘Sex’

A world without gender would have no wars, but no art, either

February 09, 2015 By: jessicazafra Category: Books, Sex No Comments →

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As pretentious students we attempted to pronounce Leguin “le-GAHN” like Gauguin, only to find that it’s “le-GWIN” (Our classmate tried the Marquis de “shar-DAY” like the singer).

In Ursula K. Le Guin’s science-fiction classic The Left Hand of Darkness, there are no women or men, only people. The natives of the planet Winter possess both female and male attributes, but they only become one or the other at certain times in the biological cycle—mating season, which they call “kemmering”. Anyone can get pregnant and give birth, depending on their hormone levels. Sometimes, they’re female, sometimes they’re male. Once a month, people get into kemmer and get time off from their jobs to fulfill their biological urges. The rest of the time, they’re not interested in sex at all. Humans from earth (Terrans, us) with their permanent genitalia, who can have sex whenever they feel like it, are considered perverts. “Pervert” is not a condemnation, just a statement of fact.

Read our column at InterAksyon.com.

Psychiatrist and human sexuality expert Dr. Agnes Bueno to hold Love Workshops

April 01, 2014 By: jessicazafra Category: Announcements, Re-lay-shun-ships, Sex 1 Comment →

love workshop
This is serious, not an April Fool’s Day prank.

Love is the paramount concern of most people, especially Filipinos. Everywhere we go we are reminded of it: in love songs blaring at the malls, in movies about “soulmates”, in ads that promise you will find true love…after you try their products.

But what exactly do we mean by “love”? Infatuation, companionship, sexual attraction, sacrifice, obsession…we might not be talking about the same thing. The result is confusion, disappointment, bitterness, rage, or worse.

Before we can love or be loved, we have to know what it is. Our personal concepts of love are shaped by our earliest interactions with parents, families, friends–relationships that, if we’re not self-aware, can end up defining who we are, or defeating what we want to become.

For something that’s supposed to be in the air, love is hard to pin down.

Professor of Psychiatry and Human Sexuality Agnes Bueno, M.D. invites you to delve into the meaning of love in your life, to understand your desires and expectations, and free yourself from the burdens of the past.

The Love Workshop is a combination of classroom discussion and group therapy. It consists of two intensive three-hour sessions. Each class consists of only five students, with writer Jessica Zafra as facilitator and Dr. Bueno as therapist.

The Love Workshop will be held at #13 Osmena St. Xavierville 3, Loyola Heights Quezon City. The course fee is Php5,000 per person. Schedules will be arranged according to the participants’ availability. To enroll, call (02) 723 0101 local 6501 or 2217 or visit Dr. Bueno’s office at:

Suite 1217 South Tower
St. Luke’s Medical Center
Cathedral Heights Bldg. Complex
279 E. Rodriguez Sr., Blvd., Quezon City

You can’t be loved till you know how to love.

Joss Whedon, Avenger for Equality, wields the Hammer of Irony

November 14, 2013 By: jessicazafra Category: Movies, Sex, Television 2 Comments →

No sex at all may be better than too little sex. Part 2 of our podcast with Dr. Agnes Bueno.

November 05, 2013 By: jessicazafra Category: Podcast, Sex 1 Comment →

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Venus of Willendorf. Photo from Wikimedia Commons.

Dr. Agnes Bueno answers your questions on sex and reveals her favorite fictional psychiatrist. (Enjoy the information with some fava beans and a good chianti.)

Listen to our podcast, download it, or get it on iTunes.

50 Shades is not erotic, sex addiction doesn’t exist, monogamy is unnatural. Listen to our podcast with Dr. Agnes Bueno.

October 30, 2013 By: jessicazafra Category: Podcast, Sex 1 Comment →


Kristen Schaal of The Daily Show on sexy Halloween costumes.

Listen to Part One of our interview with pediatric psychiatrist and human sexuality expert Dr. Agnes Bueno here.

Got a question about sex? Ask our guest psychiatrist, Dr. Agnes Bueno

October 23, 2013 By: jessicazafra Category: Podcast, Psychology, Sex 14 Comments →

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Therese dreaming by Balthus, 1938

Everybody thinks about sex; the question is, how often? Is it possible to think about sex too much? (What is “too much”?) Is it possible to not think about sex at all?

Around the time we declared independence from our parents and moved into a place of our own, we turned on the TV late one night and discovered the woman who has the answers. With her high intelligence and erudition, her direct manner, her colored contact lenses and decolletage, and her absolute refusal to treat sexuality as a subject “not suitable for polite company”, she helped to liberate us from our silly, giggly notions about love and relationships.

On Tuesday we’re doing a podcast with the famed psychiatrist and human sexuality expert, Dr. Agnes Bueno. We’re tackling everything you’ve always wanted to know about sex but didn’t know whom to ask (or were afraid to ask for fear of being judged and condemned as a maniac). So post your questions for Dr. Bueno in Comments, and we’ll try to cram them all into the podcast next week. Don’t be embarrassed; she won’t be.

* * * * *

The 50 Shades of Grey books being devoid of literary value, does their use as masturbation helpers for the creatively-challenged justify their existence?

Could you recommend some good erotica?

Which fictional couples (from novels, movies and TV) would you say have healthy relationships?

Why do some people insist on staying in abusive relationships? Do they feel they deserve the abuse? Get their kicks from being abused?

Is Freud still relevant to the times?

Is monogamy natural and possible, or are people kidding ourselves?