JessicaRulestheUniverse.com

1. Scented candles say “I’m not even trying.”
2. One bottle of wine says, “I got a case at a wholesale rate so whoopee-doo, you’re all getting the same thing”, which suggests you can’t tell your friends apart. Does not apply to rare vintages.
3. A book, because I might already have it. Gift certificates are alright, but they announce, “I can’t be bothered to think of an appropriate present for you, so go get yourself something.”
4. Refrigerator magnets, because there is no space left on the surface of the fridge to stick them on. (In my house the fridge is less a food storage device than a bulletin board.)
5. Perfume. I can’t stand strong scents and most perfumes give me a headache.
6. Cookies, because I hang out with a pastry chef and I’ve gotten snooty about desserts.
7. DVDs, see number 3.
8. Lined notebooks. I prefer plain unlined or squared.
9. Figurines and other cute bric-a-brac, because my cats hate them and kick them off tables and shelves.
10. Picture frames say, “I don’t really know you, but I feel obligated to give you a present.”

Tina called my attention to a Wapedia entry about me. 

“Her work has been the subject of academic study (1). Content analysis of the Twisted series reveals Zafra’s disdain for men in general, and Filipino men in particular, whom she finds “stupid and weak” (2). Most of her positive descriptions of men were reserved for foreign celebrities like Mel Gibson (3), David Duchovny (4), Goran Ivanisevic (5) and Sting (6).”

(1) I do not participate in academic studies of my work because I already spend too much time talking about myself, plus it is not for me to pass judgment on my own output. 

(2) This is what happens when the academic study does not factor in the most important ingredient in my work: Irony. But I guess a sense of irony cannot be taught. I’ll say this once: I love men. Maybe not you in particular, but I am a great admirer of the male of the species, regardless of nationality. All my friends are men, straight and gay. It’s women friends who have almost vanished from my directory, because they’re all busy saving the world. I see my gay guy friends everyday, and what do we talk about 70 percent of the time? Men.

I feel for you guys. I think you should be liberated from having to carry your wives/girlfriends’ handbags (You should offer to carry laptop bags and heavy packages because you are physically stronger, generally), or from waiting outside fitting rooms and being ordered to fetch clothes in other sizes or colors. I would not mind at all if you always picked up the tab, after all you’re hardwired to be the hunter-gatherers (while we discover agriculture, quantum physics, etc).

You should also not be compelled to discuss your feelings unless you’re ready to go full Oprah. I know how ooky it is to discuss your emotional state, especially when you’re watching sports. This emo thing has gone too far. If someone wanted to discuss our, ugh, relationship while I was watching the fifth set of a Federer-Nadal final, there would be blood. Women should realize that your obsession with sports is totally about feelings. Don’t they notice how much crying goes on at sporting events?

(3) That was the 90s, I was young and stupid. I don’t deny I loved Mad Max II and Braveheart but I have already renounced his fundamentalist ass.

(4) He’s so 90s, I was young and stupid, but there’s nothing to renounce.

(5) Love him.

(6) If you’re doing a proper academic study, could you read past Twisted 1? There are eight volumes, you know, plus Flicks and Travels.

I want these glasses from Fabulous Fanny’s, NYC.

P.S. According to Ricky, it is apparently the fashion these days for boys to carry their girlfriends’ handbags. It is a public announcement that (1) They are getting some, and (2) They are secure enough in their masculinity to be seen toting girliness. I think that (3) If it makes you happy to carry your girlfriend’s handbag, go ahead and be happy, (4) She would have two major accessories, the bag and the carrier, and (5) It’s her public announcement that you are her territory. Also, (6) You can buy your own designer bag, you know.

Photo: Velocipede by Ricky Villabona

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Found this on boingboing.net: furniture that is a political statement. Abu Ghraib table by Phillip Toledano.

Working conditions in my house, originally uploaded by 160507.

by Walter Benjamin

I. Anyone intending to embark on a major work should be lenient with himself and, having completed a stint, deny himself nothing that will not prejudice the next.

II. Talk about what you have written, by all means, but do not read from it while the work is in progress. Every gratification procured in this way will slacken your tempo. If this regime is followed, the growing desire to communicate will become in the end a motor for completion.

III. In your working conditions avoid everyday mediocrity. Semi-relaxation, to a background of insipid sounds, is degrading. On the other hand, accompaniment by an etude or a cacophony of voices can become as significant for work as the perceptible silence of the night. If the latter sharpens the inner ear, the former acts as a touchstone for a diction ample enough to bury even the most wayward sounds.

IV. Avoid haphazard writing materials. A pedantic adherence to certain papers, pens, inks is beneficial. No luxury, but an abundance of these utensils is indispensable.

V. Let no thought pass incognito, and keep your notebook as strictly as the authorities keep their register of aliens.

VI. Keep your pen aloof from inspiration, which it will then attract with magnetic power. The more circumspectly you delay writing down an idea, the more maturely developed it will be on surrendering itself. Speech conquers thought, but writing commands it.

VII. Never stop writing because you have run out of ideas. Literary honour requires that one break off only at an appointed moment (a mealtime, a meeting) or at the end of the work.

VIII. Fill the lacunae of inspiration by tidily copying out what is already written. Intuition will awaken in the process.

IX. Nulla dies sine linea — but there may well be weeks.

X. Consider no work perfect over which you have not once sat from evening to broad daylight.

XI. Do not write the conclusion of a work in your familiar study. You would not find the necessary courage there.

XII. Stages of composition: idea — style — writing. The value of the fair copy is that in producing it you confine attention to calligraphy. The idea kills inspiration, style fetters the idea, writing pays off style.

XIII. The work is the death mask of its conception.

Mat profile, originally uploaded by saffysafina.

Mat refused his breakfast this morning. In my house, this is a sign of the apocalypse. His tongue was peeking out of his mouth, and he went inside his carrier to be alone. I called the vet and after we ruled out anything serious, she said he probably has a cold. She recommended vitamin C drops for babies.

When he saw the medicine dropper he dashed away very fast, so he wasn’t weak or anything. I am an expert at administering vitamin drops to cats, I had practice with Koosi. A few years ago she was a little skinny, so the vet prescribed children’s vitamins with iron to improve her appetite. What you do is, you grasp the scruff of the neck with one hand and with the other, put the dropper in the cat’s mouth and squeeze. Mat was cranky, but he took the vitamins.

By 4pm Mat still hadn’t eaten, so I was getting worried. Then it occurred to me to offer him canned cat food, which has a stronger smell than kibble. In case he couldn’t smell because of the cold. He ate the entire can of tuna cat food. So we’re all fine.

The vitamin C drops reminded me to get an update on Ely’s condition. Last I saw him, he said his cardiologist told him he had a vitamin C deficiency, so he takes 5,000mg everyday. I called his manager, Day, who said Ely had an angioplasty today. He had chest pains during the concert and was rushed to the hospital. Tests showed it was not a heart attack, it was exhaustion and emotional stress. Further tests showed that an artery had some blockage, so an angioplasty was done. (He had angioplasty on two arteries last year following the heart attack. Since then he’s changed his lifestyle, and when I saw him and Diane a month ago, he looked younger than he did when the Eheads’ first album came out.) Day says he’s up and eating well. But this makes a heavy gig schedule unlikely.