Twisted by Jessica Zafra – Pumping irony since 1994

Archive for the ‘World Domination Update’

World Domination Research: Maid in Paris

October 29, 2014 By: jessicazafra Category: World Domination Update 2 Comments →

I had two and a half hours to kill in Abu Dhabi airport, and not being the luxury goods shopping type, I decided to do some research on the progress of the Filipino campaign for world domination. The Philippines is not one of the countries that immediately come to mind when one says “world domination”, but that is because people always look at the wrong criteria: wealth, or military strength, or imperial history.

Even if they do look at the right metric—global influence—their interpretation of the data is too conventional. It does not occur to them that the Philippines has been quietly taking over the world for four decades—centuries more, if you consider earlier waves beginning with the galleon trade—by sending out workers to build outposts of Filipino culture all over the world. The millions of Pinoy domestic helpers, seamen, professionals and expats out there are the agents of world domination, biding their time until we get organized and formally conquer earth.

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We forgot to mention that every time anyone near us sneezed or coughed, she would cover her nose and mouth and mutter, “Ebola”.

World Domination Food?

April 30, 2014 By: jessicazafra Category: Food, Television, World Domination Update 3 Comments →

spam tocino
From Stella Arnaldo’s Instagram.

Will this be the supranational anthem, then?

Coming soon in hardcover and digital editions

February 07, 2014 By: jessicazafra Category: Books, World Domination Update 2 Comments →

tssf cover
The Stories So Far by Jessica Zafra. Cover design: Jay Lozada. Book design: Ige Ramos.

In a coffee shop in Makati, three strangers cross paths on what may be the last day of the world.

In an apartment in Paris, unfriendly dinner guests wait for a frozen leg of lamb to cook.

Jude, allegedly the smartest kid in the room, discovers that a high IQ is no guarantee of survival.

An actress with the face of an angel and the talent of a brown paper bag considers her rapidly dwindling options.

Sociopaths, spies, aspiring golddiggers, heiresses on the run and advertising executives wrongly hunted for murder find themselves on the same train.

The neighbors keep missing each other in an apartment building that messes with the space-time continuum.

A porn star turned religious fundamentalist preaches on the bus while a tarot card reader battles possession by a demonic dwarf.

These are some of the people who populate The Stories So Far, only the second collection of short stories by Jessica Zafra. You don’t have to let them in your house, but you can meet them right here.

ETA: March-April 2014
For bulk orders (10 copies or more), email

gvj cover
Geeks Vs Jocks by Jessica Zafra. Cover design and photography: Ricky Villabona. Book design: Ige Ramos.

Jessica Zafra has never played sports in her life. She should be barred from any playing field, for the safety of players and spectators, and especially her own. It is not that she hates sports, but she believes it should be left to those who are actually skilled at it. Of course she is painfully aware that sport is essential in Geek History, being a primary means by which we learn that what does not kill us makes us stronger.

However, Jessica has always enjoyed writing about sports—partly because we must know our enemy, and partly because it’s fun. Geeks Vs Jocks is a collection of her writing on tennis, rugby union, football, boxing, and other games including politics and history. Among other issues she writes about Roger Federer as platonic ideal, the dread of watching the All Blacks almost lose the Rugby World Cup, what happens when you put rugby players in tiny underwear on giant billboards on the highway, and Game of Thrones as a playbook for Philippine politics.

ETA: March-April 2014
For bulk orders (10 copies or more), email

Be Your Own Valentine

February 07, 2014 By: jessicazafra Category: Shopping, World Domination Update No Comments →

shirt shop

Flowers, chocolate and fabulous presents from admirers are all very well, but there’s no substitute for getting something that is distinctly You.

This Valentine’s Day, get yourself and your like-minded friends the World Domination T-shirts. The limited edition World Domination T-shirts are available in three colors and various sizes at The Library of Babel online store, Each shirt costs only Php269, plus freight charges.

Romance is thrilling, but World Domination is your destiny. Visit The Library of Babel now.

If you pre-ordered a World Domination shirt, you can now buy it online

January 27, 2014 By: jessicazafra Category: Clothing, World Domination Update 6 Comments →


Our serfs have sent you an email directing you to the online store. It’s the soft opening; thank you for your patience, and we would appreciate any feedback. We’re only serving the pre-orders for now, but as soon as the store is fully operational, we’ll announce it here.

World Domination: Don’t just threaten it, wear it.

Pre-order your World Domination shirts today

January 15, 2014 By: jessicazafra Category: Announcements, Clothing, World Domination Update 2 Comments →

shirt saffy

The World Domination shirts have arrived, and will soon be available at our online store. The first edition says “You can’t rule the world if you can’t decide what to order”, and is dedicated to highly opinionated people who don’t understand “option paralysis”.

Our shirts are manufactured right in the nexus of World Domination, the Philippines. Made of durable, stretchable, color-fast 100 percent cotton with satin or mesh accents, they are understated but unmistakable.

World Domination shirts come in three colors: black with green satin accent, neon fuchsia with navy satin, and blue-violet with beige mesh. We have them in girls’ sizes, Small, Medium and Large.

shirt drogon

Each shirt costs Php299, and there’s a charge of about Php60 (we’ll check) for deliveries.

Be the first to stand up for World Domination. Pre-order your shirts today by emailing with your details: color/s, size/s, and delivery address. Our elves will get back to you as soon as the online store opens.