JessicaRulestheUniverse.com

Photo: Dune’s Guild Navigator from Dunepedia.

GOOD asked scientist and film consultant Seth Shostak to rate various means of transportation from science-fiction movies according to feasibility. Subjects include the suspended animation capsule from Alien, the DeLorean from Back to the Future, and the transporter from Star Trek.

Not included: Star Trek’s warp drive, the teleporter from The Fly, and the Spacing Guild Navigator who could fold space in Dune.

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In James Cameron’s Terminator, the worldwide computer network attains consciousness and subjugates the human race. New Scientist wonders if the internet could become self-aware.

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Ash in Alien: ‘You still don’t understand what you’re dealing with, do you? Perfect organism—its structural perfection is matched only by its hostility.’

The species that survived its encounters with the alien without toting weapons: the house cat.

‘Here is a film that forces me to apologize to Vincent Gallo for calling “The Brown Bunny” the worst film in the history of the Cannes Film Festival.’

Roger Ebert reviews Brillante Mendoza’s Kinatay. Even more interesting than the review is the comments section in which Filipino readers are fighting amongst themselves. We Pinoys do have a knack for having our squabbles in the most public venues.

Photo: The assassination of Julius Caesar in HBO’s Rome.

‘The murder of Julius Caesar was a messy business. As with all assassinations, it was easier for the conspirators to plan the first blow than to predict what would happen next – never mind to have an exit strategy in reserve, should things go wrong. At a meeting of the Senate on the Ides of March in 44 BC, Tillius Cimber, a backbencher, gave the cue for the attack by kneeling at Caesar’s feet and grabbing his toga. Then Casca struck with his dagger; or tried to. Clumsily missing the target, he gave Caesar the chance to stand up and defend himself by driving his pen (the only instrument he had to hand) into Casca’s arm. This lasted just a few seconds, for at least twenty reinforcements were standing by, weapons at the ready, and quickly managed to dispatch their victim. But they had no time to take careful aim, and several of the assassins found themselves wounded by the ancient equivalent of friendly fire. According to the earliest surviving account, by the Syrian historian Nicolaus of Damascus, Cassius lunged at Caesar, but ended up gashing Brutus in the hand; Minucius missed too, and struck his ally Rubrius in the thigh instead. “There must have been a lot of blood”, as T. P. Wiseman crisply remarks in Remembering the Roman People.’

Mary Beard reviews T.P. Wiseman’s Remembering the Roman People in the TLS.

Spike Jonze blogs about his much-awaited adaptation of Where The Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak in We Love You So.

Just sue us, DOF tells critics of book duty

‘Finance Undersecretary Estela Sales bristled at Makati City Rep. Teddyboy Locsin’s characterization of their state of mind when they decided to impose the duty, saying it was not as if the Department of Finance “suddenly found enlightenment”. . .’ Keep reading.

So incivility is official government policy.

Photo: One of my favorite time travel devices is the DeLorean from Back To The Future (rendered in Lego by Legohaulic).

Sean Carroll has prepared this handy guide for filmmakers whose projects involve time travel. That means you, J.J. Abrams. Not that we didn’t enjoy your movie, but we may not be so indulgent in the future. Also Belle says stop ripping off your old TV shows (Alias, Lost, etc.) And McG—Terminator Salvation—we’re watching you.

0. There are no paradoxes.
1. Traveling into the future is easy.
2. Traveling into the past is hard—but maybe not impossible.
3. Traveling through time is like traveling through space.
4. Things that travel together, age together.
5. Black holes are not time machines.
6. If something happened, it happened.
7. There is no meta-time.
8. You can’t travel back to before the time machine was built.
9. Unless you go to a parallel universe.
10. And even then, your old universe is still there.

Read the complete Rules for Time Travelers in Cosmic Variance.