JessicaRulestheUniverse.com

taxikick.com. Phone apps coming up.

Thanks to RayVi for the alert.

Harry Morris, fully-clothed. Photo by JZ.

As you may have gleaned from the collective gasp of females and baklas all over the archipelago, and the ensuing crash as they forgot to resume breathing, the national rugby team was in town. (Be warned that I have been reading P.G. Wodehouse and will sound like this for some time.) How is it possible that less than two months ago in this very space we were lamenting the fact that no one seemed to care about their victory at the A5N? And that 14 months ago we were just expressing delight at the fact that a Philippine rugby team exists in a place where rugby is the stuff of poverty porn?

Now you cannot see a screen that is not festooned with their massive pectorals and necks the size of tree trunks. Soon we will have grounds to complain to the MMDA, which is ever vigilant of our right to be shielded from the sight of anyone who is happy to have a penis, that we are being stalked by these ethnic hybrids.

Not a column about rugby in Emotional Weather Report, today in the Philippine Star.

The second of the Boysen KNOxOUT Project: EDSA (Everyone Deserves Safe Air) artworks rendered in air-cleaning paint can now be seen at the Edsa Ortigas flyover.

Baby Imperial and Coco Anne composed the work, a mathematical/abstract “description” of the Edsa Revolution of 1986.

Boysen KNOxOUT Project: EDSA is the world’s first large-scale public art project using paints that can clean noxious air pollutants.
(more…)

Billboards, Los Angeles, 2019. From Blade Runner.

Rush hour traffic northbound on Edsa Guadalupe, 1 July 2011

1. “ . . .”
“OMG.”
“WTF!”

2. “They’re so. . .they’re so. . .naked. I mean technically they’re not naked because they’re wearing little briefs but the tiny scraps actually call attention to what’s under them so they couldn’t be more naked.”

3. “It’s a sign. I’m breaking off my engagement to Ursula, whom I only proposed to at the insistence of my parents, to be with the one I truly love: Facundo.”

4. “You can get those pecs and abs by sniffing glue??”

5. “Stop this train! Stop it! Where is the emergency cord? Mama, para!”

“I’ve. . .seen things. . .you people wouldn’t. . .believe. Attack ships. . .on fire. . .off the shoulder of Orion.”

Read my column at interaksyon.com.

Meanwhile, The Adventures of Rain Dance Maggie from the Red Hot Chili Peppers album I’m With You, out 30 August.

Our Philippine rugby archive is here.

Photo by cesarcambay from Panoramio.

Overheard by Anna on the MRT as the train passed a giant Belo billboard on Edsa:

“Ano ba naman yang billboard ni Ruffa, Body Ti-teh.”

Anna’s thought balloon:

“Oo nga naman, dapat ang spelling T-y-t.”

(Apologies to non-Tagalog speakers: humor untranslatable.)