Twisted by Jessica Zafra – Pumping irony since 1994

Archive for the ‘Election News Junkies Support Group’

Profiling the voters: What your choice of presidential candidate says about you

December 08, 2015 By: jessicazafra Category: Current Events, Election News Junkies Support Group 2 Comments →

Your choice for President is Jejomar Binay.

You think that the administration of President Benigno Aquino III has been a flop. You have become more discontented with your lot in life since 2010. You see that the rich are getting richer and the poor are getting poorer, and every day the gap grows wider. You want a chief executive who is close to the masses. Gestures like attending your relative’s wake really mean something to you. Allegations of corruption do not bother you. Observing Philippine politics has turned you into a cynic: you have concluded that everyone steals anyway, so you might as well support someone who gives something to the poor, be it free movies or a birthday cake. What did those political elites ever do for you? When people make fun of the candidate’s height or appearance, they mock you as well.

Your choice for President is Rodrigo Duterte.

You believe that the biggest problems of the Philippines are lawlessness and a lack of discipline. You’ve reached the conclusion that left to their own devices the Filipinos will descend into anarchy and chaos, and that the only way to stop this is to elect a leader who will rule with an iron fist. Perhaps you are nostalgic for the Marcos regime, or being too young to remember it, harbor grand illusions about the “New Society”. In any case you believe that criminals do not deserve due process, and should be punished immediately. Human rights violations do not bother you because you think that your own human rights are already being violated by law-breakers. Not only are you pro-death penalty, you want an instant death penalty for criminals. In the event that the executed turn out to be innocent, they are acceptable collateral damage. You want a leader who will scare the people into obeying the rules.

Read our column at

Basic Questions for the Presidential Candidates

September 30, 2015 By: jessicazafra Category: Current Events, Election News Junkies Support Group No Comments →

1. Traffic is the most visceral issue in Metro Manila. Number coding and changing the agency in charge of managing the traffic have not worked and are not going to work. The MRT and LRT should’ve made a big difference, but they are so badly, ineptly run that they aggravate the problem. Even if the bus operators are somehow made to cooperate, the Bus Rapid Transport system that has been proposed since the 1980s is not going to make a dent because hundreds of new cars further clog the streets every month. What are you going to do about the traffic? What are you going to do about the road infrastructure? (And if the head of the Department of Transportation and Communications, who has not only failed dismally at addressing traffic congestion but has callously dismissed the daily distress of motorists and commuters as “non-fatal”, also happens to be the head of your political party, are you going to keep him in that position?)

Read our column at InterAksyon.

Slam via spam: “Outing” the candidates

April 17, 2013 By: jessicazafra Category: Current Events, Election News Junkies Support Group, Sex No Comments →

Text spam is so much spicier during campaign season. Apart from the real estate offers from people you don’t know, and award notifications from raffles you never joined (Apparently I just won a brand-new car and P350,000, and stand to lose more if I am stupid enough to call their number), there are anonymous messages commending or attacking certain candidates. This spam from last week is so clever, it requires a second reading to determine whether it is praising or slamming the candidate.

“Friends, suportahan natin ang kafatid nating si ______! # ___ sa balota. At huwag kalimutan, Ang Ladlad #28 sa party list!”

What does it mean?

Read Ladlad o Laglag? our column at

Young Barack in love

May 03, 2012 By: jessicazafra Category: Books, Election News Junkies Support Group 2 Comments →

Barack Obama in Central Park, 1981. Photo from

Interesting piece in Vanity Fair about Barack Obama’s relationships with two ex-girlfriends, one of whom allowed her journals to be used in a biography of the American president.

This bit jumped out at us.

The routine with Barack was now back and forth, mostly his place, sometimes hers. When she told him that she loved him, his response was not “I love you, too” but “thank you”—as though he appreciated that someone loved him. The relationship still existed in its own little private world.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that when you say “I love you” to another person, the reply you don’t want to hear is “Thank you.”

Holiday present for a politician

December 18, 2009 By: jessicazafra Category: Current Events, Election News Junkies Support Group, Shopping 4 Comments →

I’m a big fan of Pilot writing instrument—started using the V5 sign pen 15 years ago, and these days I always carry at least three Pilot VBall 0.5 pens. Today at the Pilot counter I saw this:

Eraseable pen 1

A Pilot Frixion pen with eraseable ink! Just rub the plastic tip against the writing and it vanishes.

Eraseable pen 2

The Pilot Frixion 0.7 retails for P77.00.

This is the perfect present for politicians who like to disavow any knowledge of their own deeds. It’s easier to erase a signature than a witness.

By the way, thanks to the Commission on Elections for enlightening us as to the real qualification for elective office: Money. Not principles or ideas or an actual program of action, just money. Well, “winnability”. Which is another way of saying, “Money!” Now we are rid of our silly illusions.

Good Idea: Vet the candidates

August 13, 2009 By: jessicazafra Category: Current Events, Election News Junkies Support Group 13 Comments →

Good Ideas
Saffy and Mat have already had their shots, thank you.

Not take them to the veterinarian, though some of the prospective candidates for the 2010 presidential elections sound like they could use a rabies shot. I mean put them through a critical examination: who are they, what have they got to offer, why are they running for president, why should we believe them, and other questions that are strangely left out of their campaign ads. Let’s start with their campaign ads. What are they saying, do you buy it, would you vote for them? And if you want to discuss production values and efficiency at delivering the message, I can’t stop you.

Critiques! We want critiques! If possible, please include a link to the political ad you are discussing. Yes, I am making you write my blog for me. Yes, we’d be happy to invite you to the think tank thingy. You will need plenty of caffeine to overcome the ill effects of exposure to political ads.