JessicaRulestheUniverse.com

We’re taking a quick trip to Jakarta on Monday. Not for the SEA Games but a tech launch. We have some free time Monday—any suggestions as to places we must see? (Not enough time to visit Borobudur or Bali.)

On these trips a soundtrack is essential. We’ve decided on the complete works of Bryan Ferry and Roxy Music.

Photo from the Ely Buendia facebook community page

We had a good time watching Quark Henares’s Rakenrol, an affectionate look at Pinoy indie music, but the scene that had us howling with laughter is the one where Jason Abalos is having his dark night of the soul in a convenience store at 2 am. Suddenly his favorite singer-songwriter Ely Buendia appears and guides him through his emotional turbulence.

It’s hilarious because it is clearly a fantasy sequence. Along the lines of Bruce Springsteen dispensing relationship wisdom to the protagonist in Stephen Frears’ High Fidelity. Or Pauline Kael and P.G. Wodehouse pouring me drinks while I’m inventing an article at 3 am. It’s not going to happen.

Although Ely, the band and I did run into Beck at a music store in L.A. in the 90s. He did not explain the meaning of life, though I could’ve used it at the time.

Ely’s answers are in boldface.

* * * * *

# 1 ariadne: May plano ba kayong tumugtog uli kasama ang inyong mga dating kabanda sa pangatlong pagkakataon? Kung oo, kelan? Kung hindi, bakit hindi?

Wala. Wala, at wala. Bakit? Kasi wala.

# 2 tita: song(s) you wish you had written?

The Jeopardy theme.

# 3 betson: Ano ang nakasagasa sa babaing nasa kantang “Huling El Bimbo” doon sa maliit na iskinita?

pizza delivery

# 4 ariadne: Which song would you give as a piece of advice for people who cannot move on/forward from a previous/non-existent relationship?

I’m Set Free by the Velvet Underground. Or Get Free by the Vines. You get the picture.

# 5 jessicazafra: You don’t seem to age; in fact you look younger now than you did before the heart attack. Is there a supernatural explanation for this, and who in the underworld do we contact? (Kanino namin ibebenta ang aming kaluluwa?)

Please. You make looking young sound like a good thing.

# 6 wenkebach: A book or a story you recently enjoyed?

The Making of Star Wars and Empire Strikes Back by JW Rinzler. Engrossing and fascinating. These books taught me more about the filmmaking process than any film school.

# 7 sirius black: you used to have ‘cursor’ until it last saw print on 2006. any plans of getting reacquainted with the printed word?

I’ve recently started writing again. It’s harder than songwriting because you have to try and make sense. I have an essay on American Football coming out in Esquire Philippines soon.

# 8 mcshrewdy: which habit was most difficult for you to let go for the sake of your health?

Eating junk food.

# 9 dindin: mahirap bang mag-maintain ng damo sa bubong?

Basta maganda ang damo at lupa, madali lang.

# 10 ariadne: I remember reading one of your interviews (in a song magazine ages ago) where you said that you do not expect your fans to grow up with you. Unfortunately, legions of your fans are still there lurking and waiting for a chance to say “We are still here!” What would you tell those fans who have been there since the Eraserheads’ days?

Awww…isn’t that sweeeet? Seriously, makinig na lang kayo kay Lito Camo.

# 11 bangzkie88: Bakit kayo naghiwalay ng asawa mo? (chismosa lang)

dahil mahal namin ang isa’t-isa.

# 12 ea: Hollywood and Local celebrity crushes?

Eva Green. Marion Cotillard.

# 13 shadowplay: What kind of story (or stories) are you most fond of reading?

History. Crime.

# 14 samantha: ano ang mga bagay na gusto mong matutunan ng mga anak mo?

Maglinis ng kwarto.

also, ano ang pinaka-ok para sa yo na reaction ng isang fan kung makita ka niya in public (na hindi official na gig or event)?

Fan: “Hi this is my CD of your newest album. Can you sign it?” Me:”Love to!”

# 15 turmukoy: may mga tumitira ba sa yo na sellout ka na masyado, patikwas-hairdo-hairdo model ka na lang? hindi ba nanay mo lang ang nagugupit sayo dati? tinanong ba nila kung magkano ang kinita mo sa raket na ito? (sana mas mahal ang bayad sa yo ni ben kaysa kila diether ocampo, para worth it naman, ika nga). brief model ka na ba sa susunod?

Relax ka lang, amigo. Hair gel lang yan. Wala ka bang trabaho? Na-breastfeed ka man lang ba ng nanay mo?

wag mo intindihin ang mga ulupong na ito. sa call center sila nagtatrabaho, o korporeyt-eklat na nagpapaalipin rin sa mga kapitalista. padayon lang. tyak yon. amen lang. sakyan.

this is sweet of you, jess. I didn’t know you had it in you hahaha

Wala akong kinalaman diyan, si turmukoy yan.

# 16 cdlaclos: Bakit si Coco Martin ang lumalabas pag nagta-type ako ng “ely buendia naked’ sa Google images?

Aba malay ko.

# 17 ruth: Who’s the fictional character you most identify with?

Mad Max.

# 18 Cacs: May balak ka ba maglabas ng biography mo considering you’ve had close brushes with death? Advance birthday greetings!

I prefer a posthumous biography a la Samuel Clemens. Mahirap magsalita ng totoo dito sa Pinas masyadong sensitive ang mga tao.

# 19 ea: What profession or what do you think you’ll be doing then and now, if you didn’t end up in a band? And curious din ako sa relationship nyo ng ex-wife mo,hindi ba mas komplikado na hindi na kayo pero lagi parin kayo nandyan sa isa’t-isa? Ganon nga ba ung sitwasyon, tama?

Diane and I have a healthier relationship now than when we were younger and together. We will always be family. As long as you’ve buried the past and have mutual respect, I don’t see any problem with working together. Besides, she’s the best manager an artist could want.

# 20 tehanu: mahal kita.

Akala mo lang yun.

# 21 tehanu: pag nakasalubong/nakita ka namin sa mall (halimbawa sa greenbelt), ayos lang ba na istorbohin ka at magpalitrato kasama ka? o naiinis ka sa ganun?

See question no. 14

# 22 ariadne: What/ who was the inspiration for the song Spolarium? Was it really based on Pepsi Paloma?

I will take this secret to the grave.

# 23 cheezmiss: bago ko nakita etong post na eto — ilang araw ko nang naririnig ang mga kanta ng eheads pag nag-g-grocery ako. baket? may kinalaman ka ba dito?

May kinalaman ba ang abaniko sa bagyo?

# 24 the chronicler of boredom: Do you really have a large collection of Chuck Taylors? Ano bang meron sa mga sapatos na ito at gustong-gusto mo sila?

I don’t own chucks anymore.

# 25 cheezmiss: ang babae ba sa magasin ay si rosanna roces? naging prends nga ba kayo dati daw?

Hinde at hinde.

# 27 Momelia: Ano moisturizer mo?

Tubig.

# 28 scheherazade: My question: When you were told that you would need to undergo a major surgical procedure, what was going through your mind?

“Finally. A life or death moment.”

Kuwento lang: In the late ’90s, nakita ka namin ng friend ko na naglalakad malapit sa Sunken Garden. Pasimple kong sinabi sa friend ko na ikaw yata yun at gusto ko sanang lumapit para magpa-autograph at lumandi. Ngunit pinigilan niya ako at sinabing hindi raw ikaw yun.

Later that same day, nakita namin yung kaklase ko na kakilala mo. Tapos sinabi niya na nandun ka nga raw sa Sunken Garden. At dahil dyan, pinatay ko ang aking kaibigan. Sa isip lang pero parang gusto ko talagang totohanin that time.

Carpe diem.

# 29 isablahblah: i’ve always wanted to ask the following:
1. have you seen David Lynch’s Eraserhead? did you like it?

Yes I have, numerous times. I don’t think you’re supposed to “like” it.

2. what was that thingamajig you used in your music video 20/20?

The camera? That’s a piece by artist Gabriel Barredo.

3. why did you name your son Eon?

Because it starts with an E, is easy to say, and lasts a long time.

4. what local film have you watched recently (and liked/loved)?

Kinatay.

Ely Buendia’s photo from tumblr fansite

Over lunch Bernard-Henri mentioned that the most famous Filipino composer of his generation is…someone we’d rather not mention at lunchtime.

That’s when it occurred to us that in the category of coolness we will always win the most-famous-Filipino-composer-of-our-generation competition, no matter whose generation is being discussed hahahahaha.

We spotted Ely’s ad for a hair product last week. “Uuyyyy hair model. Why not an underwear billboard?” He had a zinger for that, which is unprintable, unfortunately.

It’s time for our biennial Ely Buendia interview. Got questions for Ely? Post them in Comments.

Questions # 1. You don’t seem to age; in fact you look younger now than you did before the heart attack. Is there a supernatural explanation for this, and who in the underworld do we contact?

* * * * *

Reader betson pointed out resemblance to Sam Milby. Hah! In the 90s people said he looked like Gardo Versoza. Note age differential.

Isn’t it ‘madilim na eskinita’, eskinita being by definition ‘maliit’?

* * * * *

We get it, you love Ely. Huwag na kayong mag-maang-maangan pa, sabihin niyo na. (Always wanted to use “maang-maangan” in a sentence.) Post all your questions and messages today and we’ll forward them to him tonight.

Photo by Anton Corbijn in the NYT

At 61 Mr. Waits is acclaimed as an American marvel: a songwriter who can be smart and primal, raucous and meticulous, ethereal and earthy, bleak and comical. He has sung about drunks, tramps, carnies and killers, spinning tall tales and reeling off free-associations that somehow add up; he has also shown a vulnerable side in tender, unironic love songs. He has been recording for four decades and persisting on his own terms, particularly since 1980. That’s when he married Kathleen Brennan, who became his partner in songwriting and production and helped forge a sound to match his voice and their lyrics: part old weird America, part junk sculpture, part mad-scientist experiment, part cartoon, part hellfire sermon, part throw-down.

A Grizzled Troubadour Dusts Off His Bowler. By Jon Pareles in the NYT.

While reading Worst. Song. Ever. by Akim Reinhardt in 3 Quarks we found ourselves chuckling, grimacing, and composing our own list. (In fact we published a list years ago in Today but don’t know where our copy is.)

The nominees are…

* Total Eclipse of the Heart by Bonnie Tyler. Here is the abomination rendered as a flowchart by Jeannie Harrell.

and the literal video version:

Nothing inspires cleverness like stupidity.

* Making Love Out Of Nothing At All by Air Supply, which we suspect is the same song as TEOTH, above.

* The Power Of Love by Celine Dion, which is the same song as TEOTH and MLOONAA, above. When she gets to “I’m your ladeeeeeeeh you are my maaaaaaaaaaaan” the enamel gets ripped off our teeth.

* The one where the guy finds a diary underneath a tree and starts reading about himself only it turns out to be someone else, freaking idiot. Tied with that other crime against humanity which asks, “If a picture paints a thousand words then why can’t I paint you?” Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa hand me that fork. Both songs perpetrated by a band called Bread.

* I’ve Never Been To Me. Although it doesn’t make us violent, just hysterical.

* And the song that makes us run amuck: What’s Going On What’s Up by 4 Non Blondes. When we hear the “Hey-ay-ay” chorus that’s when the body count rises.

To wipe those off your mind, listen to this brilliant stupid song we loved as a kid.

It has recently come to our attention that we are no longer the only people ripping off Tom Waits titles for our writing. Jon Morales our missing straight guy columnist has infringed on our infringement monopoly, referencing Brawlers, Bawlers and Bastards in his twitter profile. Yes he is on twitter, @jonnymo.

We caught up with Jon Sunday night to discuss a wide range of topics, from his Tagalog proficiency and cooking skills to the girlfriend to city ratio of his nomadic existence. In this video we talk about Tom Waits, whether The Wire is the greatest TV series ever, the artistic ambitions of Kanye West, why the Black Eyed Peas should just go away, the toxicology report on Amy Winehouse, being a fan of Maldita, and which Eraserheads songs he knows.

Shot 9/11/11 by my Macbook Air. (Not super-clear, but uploading the file takes much less time.)