Conversations in restaurants: the Pulp Fiction hommage.
– Garcon, I would like a Milo McFlurry please.
– What did you just call me?
– Garcon, it means “boy”. . .I’m sorry, I had not realized. . .your hair is very short.
– Are you calling me a transvestite?
– Of course not, my view was blocked by the planter.
– Are you suggesting that I’m short?
– I am not suggesting it, I am stating it as fact.
– My height is average for Filipinos.
– Oui, I understand. I would like a Milo-
– How tall are you?
– How tall. Are you.
– I am 1.93 metres tall.
– How much is that in feet?
– I do not know feet, I am French. We use the metric system.
– Just because you’re a pituitary case you think you can call people midgets.
– I do not know that word “midget”. I called you “garcon”.
– How would you feel if I called you kapre?
– Nothing, I do not know what that is. May I order now please. I would like a Milo McFlurry.
– Where do you think you are, McDonald’s? This is a fine dining establishment, we don’t serve McFlurries.
– Ah, my mistake. Then I would like a Royale with Cheese.
– We’re not in France. Here it’s called Quarterpounder with Cheese.
– But I do not know pounds. . .
– Yeah, yeah, the French, metric system. You want French fries with that?
– French fries?
– You don’t know French fries? Fried potatoes.
– Oh, pommes-frites. Yes.
– You want ketchup with that?
There. We are hommaged out. Write me a conversation that is not about itself.
Listen to the Parisian trio We Are Enfant Terrible.