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Twisted by Jessica Zafra – Pumping irony since 1994
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Archive for the ‘Cosmic Things’

Not a spoiler

May 02, 2016 By: jessicazafra Category: Cosmic Things 4 Comments →

Can I just say

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

And then: Told you.

This is my favorite poem by Robert Frost, which I found in a compilation because I did not like “Mending Wall”, which was constantly assigned by teachers.

Some say the world will die in fire,
Some say in ice
From what I’ve tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.

P.S. It’s Lyannaaaaaaaaaaa

Happy Birthday, Drogon! Today he is The Oracle.

April 12, 2016 By: jessicazafra Category: Cats, Cosmic Things 19 Comments →

drogon

We don’t know Drogon’s exact date of birth. He just showed up on our doorstep three years ago, when he was about a year old. Shortly afterwards our eldest cat Koosi died at age 14, and following the Roman Church’s practice of taking a date of significance to the pagans and assigning it to a Church holiday, we declared that Drogon would have the same birthday as Koosi, April 12. Happy Birthday to our white, blue and pink baby dragon! Yes, Drogon looks like those birth announcement cards.

Today, Drogon is The Oracle. You can ask him anything. Post your questions in Comments.

For instance: Drogon, is Jon Snow truly dead?

Drogon: Nope. R+L=J.

Drogon is 3! This week he is The Oracle.

April 12, 2015 By: jessicazafra Category: Cats, Cosmic Things 23 Comments →

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA
Drogon likes attention, hugs, and parkour.

Happy Birthday, Drogon Targaryen-Targaryen Hiddleston Cumberbatch! The vet says he was about a year and a half when he joined our household and we picked a birthday for him. It’s also the birthday of Koosi, who would’ve been 16 today.

koosi
Koosi

Whenever our feline masters celebrate their birthday they deign to read your future. This week Drogon is The Oracle. To ask a question of The Oracle, you must go out and feed the first stray cat you encounter. Then look into Drogon’s eyes and post your question in Comments and await his reply.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA
White Walker-blue eyes.

We have readers who ask the same question every year (pertaining to acquisition of boyfriend, more desirable employment, or both). If you want a different answer, try rephrasing it.

It was Saffy’s 14th birthday yesterday. Today she is The Oracle.

June 16, 2014 By: jessicazafra Category: Cats, Cosmic Things 16 Comments →

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She will only answer questions about your future.

Post your questions in Comments.

Also, The Oracle says, Buy our human’s new books at The Library of Babel online store. We’ll be having pop-up signings at different venues in the coming weeks.

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Saffy is 12! Today she will grant wishes.

June 15, 2012 By: jessicazafra Category: Cats, Cosmic Things 65 Comments →

Happy Birthday, Saffron Sassafras Saoirse Sigourney Schmitz Scorsese Zafra-Safin!

We are not doing the annual advice thing because Saffy says all human problems are the same—Boring!—and humans should just get over themselves.

Instead of playing the Oracle, Saffy has consented to hear your wishes and grant the ones that please her.

You may petition her in Comments.

Appetite for Apocalypse

January 05, 2012 By: jessicazafra Category: Books, Cosmic Things 1 Comment →


We just saw Melancholia. It’s beautiful and strange, two qualities we like.

THE DIFFICULTY with prophecies — whether based on passages from the Bible or ancient calendars, on solid climate science and economics or the visions of the Mongolian shamans Lawrence E. Joseph visited while researching his books — is that they are almost invariably wrong. Human beings are remarkably bad at predicting even relatively short-term, simple occurrences, such as the weather on Monday or the price of gold on Friday, much less something as vast and complex as the future of humanity. Many important events of the recent past came as a surprise to most people: World War I, the stock market crash of 1929, the Cold War, the computer age, the economic meltdown of 2008, the Arab Awakening, even the Occupy Wall Street movement. Part of the problem, as Scottish philosopher David Hume pointed out in the eighteenth century, is that we are equipped with a concept of “cause” that constitutes little more than an association of things or events in the past — and projecting the patterns of the past onto the future is perilous. We read books of narrative history and biography and get the impression that what made things happen, what shaped the story, was always sharply defined and clear, when in fact it wasn’t and more likely still isn’t. The real problem with the future is that it doesn’t yet exist, and the forces that bring it into existence are too complicated, too subtle and volatile and fractal, for us to know in advance — or ever.

And yet we continue to try. Why? Because we need to have a sense that we control our fates, even if all that means is that we know our fates.

Prophecies of impending doom — based on hard science as well as Scripture — abound. Where does our appetite for retribution come from? Read Apocalypse Soon by Daniel Baird in The Walrus.