JessicaRulestheUniverse.com

Stephen Colbert guest-edits the new Newsweek. From his Editor’s Notes:

. . .despite our continued victories, Americans have many lingering questions about Iraq. For example: where is Iraq? My guess is somewhere near Paraguay.

I took advantage of my powerful new perch and published all my letters to the editor that NEWSWEEK had rejected, provided my Conventional Wisdom, took a red pencil to Meacham’s editorial foofaraw and took the bias out of the columnist bios. Most important, I sent NEWSWEEK’s reporters to find out whatever happened to Iraq. Unfortunately, this meant cutting the cover story they had planned: “Hey, Have You Heard About This Thing Called ‘Twitter?’ “. . .

As I’d expected, not all the books were picked up hahaha. Yeah beastly weather you were watching Roland Garros you were swamped etc etc, too bad. We’re giving those books away again.

Sam the Cat – larrym1983
Emily the Strange – marycoal
Dirt Music – mamc1979
Dance Dance Dance – the zen bitch

plus

Then We Came To The End by Joshua Ferris – ananyah

These winners have exactly seven days, from Tuesday, June 9 to Monday, June 15, to pick up their prizes/have their prizes picked up at Wild Ginger, the Asian restaurant at the basement of Power Plant Mall in Rockwell. Any time from 11 am to 8 pm will be fine; look for Nida or Marge. Tennis Mike has kindly offered their restaurant as the drop, but we mustn’t take the staff away from their work so we’ll only leave five books at a time.

If the winners do not pick up their books, we’ll assign them to the next entries in the queue, and so on until we run out of books. With all the forfeits, we’ll probably get around to you.

Stella Arnaldo has posted the complete list of Representatives who voted for House Resolution 1109 convening Congress into a Constituent Assembly (Con-Ass). Do you agree to have your Ass Conned in your name? If you don’t, write or email your representative and tell him/her so. Remind them that they work for you.

Get your legislator’s email address here. Democracy is clickable.

Collage from www.tennis.com. Note evolution of the look.

It looked like I was having dinner at Hooters with Dok, Andi, Ely and Jason, but what I was really doing was not watching the French Open final.

Hooters was my idea. I’d never been to a Hooters anywhere, so it was an anthropological expedition. It was not what I’d expected at all. It’s a family restaurant where the girls happen to be wearing tank tops that cut off circulation, and tiny shorts. The effect was oddly un-sleazy. Jason noted that he has bigger boobs than many of the waitresses. The food was alright, and the service efficient. Granted, we were seated at the famous people table. The staff and customers all had their pictures taken with E.

Although I had barred myself from watching any of the matches at Roland Garros (or talking about them, which I assure you is very very very difficult), I was hoping that the men’s final would be showing on the TVs at Hooters. That way I would get to watch The Fed go for his 14th, and still stick to my grand slam rehab. Turns out Hooters is not a tennis kind of place. The TVs were tuned to an ultimate fighting championship. Oldies blared from the speaker right above our heads. I heard Footloose, Sunglasses At Night, and Shake It Up a dozen times.

Dorski texted me updates after each set. 6-1. Excellent. Have a beer. Ige joined us. Jason demonstrated the difference between American Vogue and French Vogue. 7-6. A fan ran onto the court, straight at The Fed. Remember Monica Seles? ‘That does it,’ I said, and invited myself to Ige’s house for what I was certain would be the last set.

We got there at 3-1. Kevin noted that the commentators made little mention of the fan incident. There will likely be an investigation, this is a serious breach. We agreed that tennis on TV would be so much better if the commentators just shut up. At match point Soderling’s return hit the net, and The Fed was crying before he hit the clay.

Andre Agassi presented the trophy, being the last player before today to have won a career grand slam (all surfaces). The French have not had a champion at Roland Garros in decades, but at least they got someone who speaks French. ‘Look, it’s Anna Wintour’ prompted another American Vogue (stiff) versus French Vogue (practically liquid) comparison.

We are happy.

* * * * *

On his blog Peter Bodo reports that Roger Federer and Marat Safin both played roles in Svetlana Kuznetsova’s French Open victory over Dinara Safina.

Families are complicated. As my Royal Tenenbaums poster says, Family isn’t a word, it’s a sentence.

Kuzzie has two slams and goes drinking with Marat. Rrrrrrrrrrr.

How to spend a rainy afternoon: look at art. ATAT is a group show by ten young visual artists from the UP College of Fine Arts, curated by Leo Abaya.

The Manananggal series in acrylic and resin mold by Ryan Villamael. He also has an Aswang series and a Tiktik series. You can see half the photographer in the mirror.

I’mpossible, rubber foam sculptures by Adeo Sta. Juana.

Color Rain, an environment of colored tubes in linear form by Kathleen Beredo. A corridor of long colored tubes dangling from the ceiling—my cats would love this, they’d Tarzan all day.

Squalor, part of Collected Memories and Ephemeral Representations by Goldie Poblador. Hand-blown glass bottles containing scents (Wasted Youth, Miasma, etc) created by the artist.

The exhibition is open until June 19 at Tin-Aw Art Gallery at Somerset Olympia Makati (the building beside the Pen) across the hall from our beloved Old Swiss Inn.

Robot, mutant, cyberspace, alternate history, anti-gravity—Science fiction has bequeathed many words to the English language. Science fiction’s vital contribution to the life of English by Sam Jordison in the Guardian.