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Novak Djokovic: World number 1 and king of donkey cheese, has just won his third straight Australian Open title.

Having released Roger Federer from the obligation to ensure our happiness by winning everything, we have been watching the Australian Open with unnatural calm. Walang manok, eh. It’s not half or even a quarter as much fun as rooting for a player, but there’s also no probability of a nervous breakdown or post-game depression. Until recently it would take us days to recover from a Federer loss; now we can watch him shank the ball at a crucial point without bursting a blood vessel.

We still haven’t found the next player we’re going to root for. Djoker is much nicer now that his results justify his kayabangan, but our loyalty fluctuates. Mike says Djokovic has budol-budol powers. For the definition of budol-budol, check out the PNP website. Presumably Mike means Djoker can hypnotize his opponents into thinking there’s more to his game than there really is.

Last year we rooted for Murray (unless he was playing the Fed) because we felt bad for Britain. Now that he’s won an Olympic gold and a major, he no longer has the kawawa factor. Raul says Murray is actually kind of hot now—winning is the best beauty treatment. Plus Lendl has been making him work out more, hence those thighs.

We enjoy watching Tsonga, especially when he dives for the ball. Is he ever going to win a major?

It’s a little worrisome that The Next Big Star hasn’t appeared; we’re not sold on Tomic or Raonic. The Top 4 (Djoko-Fed-Murray-Nadal) are so far ahead of the field, we wonder what will happen to men’s tennis when they stop playing. By this time we should know who our next bet is. When we “adopted” Roger Federer he was an 18-year-old in a ponytail and over-sized clothes; now he’s a 31-year-old with perfect hair and good suits. Where is the future? Who’s next?

The other trap you might fall into is to start thinking about money. “No one but a blockhead ever wrote, except for money,” said Samuel Johnson. Well—and I’ve never gotten to do this before—I’d like to disagree with Dr. Johnson. Once you start conceiving of your book as a commodity, you start thinking about readers as potential buyers, as customers to be lured. This makes you try to anticipate their tastes and cater to them. In doing so, you begin to depart from your own inclinations rather than respond to what the Irish novelist, Colm Toibin, has referred to as “the stuff that won’t go away.” “It seems that the essential impulse in working is … to allow what haunts you to have a voice, to chart what is deeply private and etched on the soul, and find a form and structure for it.” Facing up to what haunts you and finding a form and structure for it can never be a commercial enterprise. That stuff’s too chaotic and unpredictable, too messy and gorgeous, to fit a popular template. But it’s the source of your originality and may well prove popular in the end.

Read Jeffrey Eugenides’s Advice to Young Writers, in the New Yorker. via 3QD.

Image by Holly Gressley

“I Will Ruin Him”
How it feels to be stalked
By James Lasdun

Some years ago, I found myself, to my surprise, the victim of a campaign of malicious e-mail stalking and online defamation by a former M.F.A. student.

Two years after she graduated, she contacted me, asking me to help edit her novel. I was too busy at the time, but I put her in touch with my agent, who in turn introduced her to a freelance editor. Nasreen seemed grateful for the help, and an amicable correspondence began between us…

Read the full article in The Chronicle Review.

Lego Ultra-Sonic Raider. Thanks to Jackie for the alert. We remember how upsetting it was to lose parts of our toys so we really like this story.

From Forbes: Seven-year-old Luka Apps spent his Christmas money on the LEGO Ninjago Ultra Sonic Raider set. Against his father’s advice, young Luka took his newly aquired Jay ZX with him when they went shopping. And then, disaster struck: the figure went missing, never to be seen again.

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Not this one. This is Koosi, our 13-year-old ginger cat. She hates the outdoors. Show her a patch of grass and she recoils with a look of “What the hell is that!”
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Object Lessons: The Paris Review presents The Art of the Short Story. Twenty great stories selected and introduced by twenty contemporary authors. Includes stories by Joy Williams, Leonard Michaels, Denis Johnson, Lydia Davis…A fabulous buffet. Php739 at National Bookstores.

Salter shows us how to write a story with no visible effort (Parang wala lang) but maximum tension (Magpapatayan yata sila!).

BANGKOK
by James Salter

Hollis was in the back at a table piled with books and a space among them where he was writing when Carol came in.

Didn’t you get my message? she asked.
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