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Personal blog of Jessica Zafra, author of The Collected Stories and the Twisted series
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Archive for August, 2015

Hammer and Cavill have a beauty contest in The Man from U.N.C.L.E. and we all win.

August 16, 2015 By: jessicazafra Category: Movies 5 Comments →

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We have seen The Man from U.N.C.L.E. twice, the first time for the beautiful leads, and the second time for its Dolce Vita-era style and fashion.

The movie is adapted from a TV show that is so old, even we don’t remember seeing it. This is what the original stars looked like.

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Robert Vaughn and David McCallum played Napoleon Solo and Ilya Kuryakin, an American spy and a Russian spy who worked together to save the world from evil masterminds. The TV show was on during the height of the Cold War, so the idea of Russians and Americans working together must’ve offered some comfort to people who expected the world to blow up at at any time.

The movie by Guy Ritchie is still set in 1963, and stars these two.

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Every time Henry Cavill (Napoleon Solo) or Armie Hammer (Ilya Kuryakin) spoke, each time one of them so much as raised an eyebrow, the women in our row would go: Hihihihihihihihihihihi. Cavill and Hammer (Cammer? Havill?) looked so good in their outfits that we decided not to write a letter to the studio protesting the fact that no one took his shirt off.

The Man from U.N.C.L.E. is fun, cheeky, and not as spastic as previous Guy Ritchie movies. He actually slows down the pace so we can enjoy the humor, such as in the sequence where Cavill eats a sandwich while, in the window, we can see Hammer being chased up and down the harbor by fascist goons. There’s also a lot of multiple split screens, which work.

The plot is basic, the execution stylish. We had expected a parody of 60s spy thrillers and got an hommage to them instead. We especially enjoyed the use of Italian pop songs from the 60s—during a furious chase scene, some guy would be wailing about thwarted love or whatever.

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Photos from Henry Cavill Online.

To continue the season of feminine ass-kickers (Mad Max: Fury Road, Ant-Man, Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation, and who knew Magic Mike XXL would be feminist?) The Man from U.N.C.L.E. co-stars Alicia Vikander as a Nazi scientist’s daughter who is also a brilliant mechanic, and Elizabeth Debicki (she played Jordan in The Great Gatsby) as the most sosyal fascist villain in films this year. Her line readings are delicious, and even at the most dangerous moments she cannot be rushed.

Fashion is one of the movie’s stars, as Hammer and Cavill remind us when they have a discussion over whether a Paco Rabanne belt can go with a Jean Patou. Men who are gorgeous, resourceful, speak many languages, can kill with their bare hands and know how to accessorize: perfect.

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There is something for everyone, including double-entendre and queer-baiting (“I’ll take the top.” “I’ll take the bottom.”). Someone brought their very smart kid to a screening, and the kid asked the right questions (“Why does he keep talking about his father’s watch?”). In one scene Cavill…entertains a lady in his hotel room, and in the room directly below it, Hammer observes the chandelier shaking and certain sounds coming from above. “Why is it shaking?” the kid asked. We didn’t hear how his parents answered the question.

And look, it’s Hugh Grant!

Essay question: Hammer or Cavill?

Happy Birthday, Mat!

August 16, 2015 By: jessicazafra Category: Cats 5 Comments →

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It’s the 14th birthday of Matthias Eomer Octavian Federer-Urban. Happy Birthday, Mat! He has a cold and does not want to be The Oracle, so no questions, please. However, if you feed a stray cat or make a donation to an animal welfare group today, he will send you good luck.

Writing Boot Camp starts on September 3

August 14, 2015 By: jessicazafra Category: Announcements, Workshops 1 Comment →

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Wayward Pines: M. Night Shyamalanana

August 13, 2015 By: jessicazafra Category: Television No Comments →

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Shyamalan sees living people. . .but for how long?

M. Night Shyamalan’s movies are basically Twilight Zone episodes — the middling ones that rely on twists or sudden revelations to rock the audience. Having watched a lot of Twilight Zone episodes — the ’80s TV remake whose producers included George R.R. Martin — we immediately saw through Shyamalan’s blockbuster, The Sixth Sense. In the first scene, a deranged student is in Bruce Willis’s house waving a gun, and in the next scene Willis is having lunch with his wife who never looks at him when he speaks to her. In the movie theater, my sister and I looked at each other and said, “He’s dead.”

Read our TV column The Binge at BusinessWorld.

Meg Wolitzer, Matthew Quick headline Philippine Literary Festival 2015

August 13, 2015 By: jessicazafra Category: Announcements, Books No Comments →

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Abe Florendo.

August 11, 2015 By: jessicazafra Category: Current Events 1 Comment →

Abe Florendo, journalist, editor, and soul of kindness, died last Sunday. He was cremated yesterday morning. A wake will be held at his house in BF Resort, Las Pinas until Wednesday, after which his ashes will be taken to Ilocos.

Abe was our lifestyle editor at TODAY. He encouraged young writers, listened to everyone’s ideas no matter how bizarre, and always kept his sense of humor. We will deal with his death the way we always deal with the deaths of people we love—we just don’t believe it. Sometimes we think we spot our friends in public places, and we have to remind ourselves that they’re dead.

Many years ago, Abe’s mother died and was cremated in the US. Her ashes were flown back to the Philippines. One day at the office, Abe told us to hurry up with our articles because he had to leave early. “Mother’s in the car,” he told us.

For a moment we thought Abe was bananas with grief. “Abe,” we said, “your mother is dead.”

“I know that,” he said. “Her ashes are in the car. I picked her up at the airport.”

It really is the end of an era.