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You wouldn’t like it when it’s angry.

Can computer keyboards do this?

Typewriter Sculptures. Thanks to Chus for the alert.

No work! (Almost) No traffic! No aggravation! Last Thursday we went up to Pinto Art Museum in Antipolo for a change of scenery.

All photographs taken with a phone by RickyV.

We forgot to ask if the Pinto Cafe by Bizu was open for the holidays. It wasn’t, and we didn’t go all the way to Antipolo to eat at a Chic-Boy. Rene recommended the old reliable Vieux Chalet and we found directions online. (Verb of the week: i-googels. As in, Petra, i-googels mo nga sa iPad yung ano. Goo-gehls, the way Kuya Germs says ‘girls’.)

Our lunch was so good it didn’t occur to us to take photos haha. (When you eat there, try the five-cheese pizza, the lamb shoulder, and the ever-popular sausages and raclette.)

Our friends visited the galleries while we walked around the gardens. Fabulous as the art collection is, we were more fascinated by the trees and shrubbery. And we’re not even the outdoorsy type.

Do you know how odd it is to be in a car in which everyone is singing I’m Every Woman by Chaka Khan except the one who is a woman? (We picked up an important bit of trivia: Whitney Houston did backing vocals on this recording, which she covered some years later.)

Which reminds us of our friend’s office Xmas party some years ago. They hired a Chaka Khan impersonator who sang Through the Fire while drawing circles on the floor with a spritzer bottle of kerosene. Then during the chorus she lit the circle. Through the fire…whoosh!

Mitsou is a book about a cat, by the painter Balthus.

Now read Meow, a short story by Felix J. Palma, in the Sex issue of Words Without Borders.

Installation in Madrid by Alicia Martin

“Abattoir” was misspelled. We mean the place where cows, not Scandinavian pop quartets, are slaughtered.

* * * * *

Turn it into an arts-crafts-entertainment center. (Like New York’s meatpacking district.)

Call it…The Silence of the Cows. That’s what we’d call it; the old abattoir in Shanghai is called 1933 Shanghai.

Put signs all over the building pointing out its architectural features, such as these air bridges built with different widths in order to control the animal traffic.

Then divide the area into spaces for cafes, clubs, funky shops, etc. And hope it’s not haunted by dead cow spirits.

Due to time constraints and travel arrangements the Yucch-meter was unable to critique each submission. Massive apologies. Barring sudden trips the Yucch-meter will be on board for the next challenge.

The Boysen KNOxOUT Project EDSA artwork by filmmaker-architect Tapio Snellman on the walls of the Cubao underpass.

The finalists for this LitWit Challenge are (titles ours)

dindin for The Despair of the Driver of a Piece of Crap on Edsa
spooky for the billboard version of Woody Allen’s The Purple Rose of Cairo
sirius black for the intestinal Definition of True Love
stellalehua for Birthday Present from the Creepy Driver

The winner is stellalehua for a deceptively casual account of many parents’ nightmare as told by the perp. Congratulations, stellalehua, you get the KNOxOUT Project EDSA artwork tote bag, the official poster of The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, The Boy in the Suitcase, Matterhorn and Kafka On The Shore.

dindin, spooky and sirius black, you each get the Project EDSA tote bag and the Dragon Tattoo poster.

Thank you for sending in your full names. You can claim your prizes at the Customer Service counter of National Bookstore in Power Plant Mall, Rockwell, Makati, any day starting 23 February 2012. Please claim the items within 6 months.

The Weekly LitWit Challenge is brought to you by our friends at National Bookstore. The next LitWit Challenge is coming up.