1. No Reservationsâ€”no relation to Anthony Bourdain’s food and travel showâ€”may be the blandest most flavorless movie ever made about chefs. When the real estate (Bleecker St, the apartment of Catherine Zeta Jones’s character) is more interesting than the characters, the movie’s in trouble.
2. When a movie contains five or six montages set to music, that’s just laziness.
3. What is the point of casting Zeta Jones as a sexless careerist? If she’s looking to broaden her range, this is not the way to go.
4. Aren’t we all over that “I chose a career over propagating the species” female guilt? Why can’t a strong female just be a strong female without being made to feel inadequate?
5. Aaron Eckhart has the most cringe-inducing role as a caricature of the sensitive male. His “exuberance” is supposed to be charming, but it’s just embarrassing. I only hope his career survives his overacting while singing Nessun Dorma in orange Crocs.
6. Nessun Dorma is to opera what My Way is to karaoke joints.
7.Â At least Abigail Breslin (Little Miss Sunshine) plays a recognizable child.
8. This is the second day in a row that I heard myself say, “We should’ve watched Resident Evil 3.”