JessicaRulestheUniverse.com

by Renmin Baratheon, podmaster

1. Copy this feed URL: http://jessicarulestheuniverse.podbean.com/feed
2. Go to iTunes and click ADVANCED from the menu and select SUBSCRIBE TO PODCAST.

3. Paste the feed URL into the dialog box and click OK.

4. The podcast will appear on your list. Episodes will be downloaded automatically.

5. For iPhone/iPod, first subscribe to the podcast in iTunes, then sync iTunes podcasts to iPod/iPhone like you do for music. Same procedure for the iPad.

Click on the podcast icon then select show all.

When you click the podcast icon you’ll have ‘Get’ and ‘Get all’ buttons.

Let us know if you have any other issues (although we can only address those related to the podcast).

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How to record a podcast on the go
1. Find a young relative who has Rock Band and make off with the USB microphone.
2. Plug it into a laptop with Garage Band.
3. Get someone to yak with.
4. Find a quiet spot.
5. Talk.

We should make a Filipino version of The Expendables featuring the Pinoy action stars of the 80s and 90s. We’ll call it…The Senators starring Ramon Revilla, Bong Revilla, Lito Lapid and Jinggoy Estrada, with the special participation of former President Joseph Estrada.

There are gasps when Liam Hemsworth appears: Aaaaaaa someone under 60 who is not Jason Statham! Then he speaks and we remember why we prefer his older brother Chris.

When Clint Eastwood watches The Expendables does he tell himself, “There, but for taste and intelligence, go I?”

Then again Dolph Lundgren got a Fulbright scholarship to MIT and see what that got him: a running joke within a running joke. And a bigger salary than most of us will ever earn, so the joke’s on us.

Here.

The weekly podcast is available for download or streaming. You can also subscribe to it on iTunes.

We decided to give the whole stack of comics to one reader. julius, they’re all yours, congratulations. Your books have been delivered to the Customer Service counter at National Bookstore, Power Plant Mall, Rockwell, Makati. Just give them your full name.

This week we’re giving away a stack of novels.

The Rachel Papers by Martin Amis, Ripley’s Game by Patricia Highsmith, Atomised (also known as The Elementary Particles) by Michel Houellebecq and Labyrinth by Kate Mosse. We got them all at National Bookstore, where the Cut-Price Sale has been extended until 2 September.

To join the raffle, go to Comments and nominate guests for future podcasts. We should probably inform you that we’re sick of hearing from movie/TV stars, politicians and celebrities—they already pollute own the airwaves—and would prefer to speak to real people with interesting opinions. Like you and your friends. Have you ever told yourself, “Why is that moron on the air? I make so much more sense than he does.” This is your chance to be heard by people who get you. We’ll throw in coffee and snacks.

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Thank you for pointing out the error in the streaming feed; no need to froth at the mouth, it’s been fixed. We’ll also post a “How to subscribe to the podcast via iTunes” instructional.

Keep your guest lists coming. You do know that we’ll probably jettison the suggestions and invite whoever we want, right? And we’re a little disappointed at how…practical you are. Doesn’t anyone want to hear Jeffrey Eugenides?

Future guests (We haven’t asked them yet haha):
Walk and Eat on food
Jaemark Tordesilla of Fire Quinito on sports
Pepe Diokno on cinema
Teddy Boy Locsin on rice
Random writers at the Palanca Awards night (We will lurk by the open bar)
A bunch of gay guys review the Bench show
Roby Alampay on journalism
Michael Salientes on fashion
Dr Joven Cuanang on maintaining your brain
Leo Abaya on art
Michael Purugganan on genes

Neil Armstrong, the first man to set foot on the Moon, has died at the age of 82. And the world mourns the loss of a man who achieved something no other human can ever do — to take the first steps on a world other than the Earth.

Remembering Neil Armstrong

Team Phil

We sent stellalehua and brewhuh23 to cover the Clear football game yesterday. Here’s brewhuh’s attempt at serious sports reportage, with photos by Angela Lauchengco.

Stellalehua and I waded through the rains and weekend traffic to watch the Clear Dream Match football friendlies at the University of Makati football stadium yesterday. Clear shampoo pitted all-star teams led by local football superstar siblings Phil and James Younghusband for the benefit of Tuloy Foundation.

Before the kickoff, prizes were given away to lucky audience members. By the time we got there almost every seat had been filled, fans were getting ready with their banners and cheers, and the players were warming up on the sidelines.

Team James

As both teams ran onto the field I couldn’t help but wonder if commemorative calendars of the players would be available and where I should line up for them. Phil and James selected their lineups from the players who received the most votes on Clear’s facebook page. The rosters included Azkals, members of local football clubs, athletes from other sports, and showbiz personalities.

It had rained an hour before the match so the pitch was wet and muddy. This prompted some of the fans to comment that the next sponsors for the football friendlies should be a detergent powder. In the first few minutes of the first half we saw Phil Younghusband slip/dive onto the glop, much to the delight of his female fans. The larger percentage of the female population at UMak were rooting for Phil’s team, and it almost cost us our eardrums.
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Advertisements for horror movies used to promise to scare people to death. “Persons with heart problems will not be allowed in the theatre,” they’d announce, although we don’t remember anyone presenting a medical certificate to get into the screenings. These ads and trailers were generally scarier than the movies themselves.

However, there’s still nothing scarier than going home after watching a middling horror movie, then replaying the movie in your head in the dead of night. Your imagination is more terrifying than anything a filmmaker can show you. Two examples: Seven and Zodiac by David Fincher. He doesn’t show you the actual murders, you have to strain to see the figures on the dark screen, but your mind fills in the blanks and the result is horror.

We saw the trailer for the Sam Raimi-produced movie The Possession (originally The Dybbuk Box) when we went to see Hope Springs. Sold! We’re there on opening day!

Have we mentioned that we love Sam Raimi’s Drag Me To Hell?

Come to think of it, Hope Springs is our notion of horror: Being married for 31 years to someone you don’t have sex with and barely speak to anymore, who doesn’t even look at you and complains constantly of what things cost, whose idea of an anniversary present is a new water heater. Aaaiiiiiiiiiieeeeeee! Meryl Streep is wonderful, as always. Only she could make us watch this movie. Tommy Lee Jones is funny. Elizabeth Shue turns up for 90 seconds, Mimi Rogers for 30. The French movie the couple watch is Le Diner de Cons, which was remade as Dinner for Schmucks starring Steve Carell who plays the therapist in the movie.

Trivia. We know someone who, as a student at Georgetown, lived in the house where The Exorcist was shot. Tourists would sometimes knock on the door and request a tour.