Chus my friend and genius hairstylist spent New Year’s Eve on a plane to Los Angeles.
Me: Sana pagbalik mo makatabi mo sa business class si Neil Etheridge. Happy New Year! (I hope that when you fly back you sit in business class next to the goalie of the Azkals national football team.)
Chus: Yes! Sana! May cute na guy sa tapat ko as I text u! Hotness! Oooh! (I hope! As I text there is a cute guy right in front of me.)
Me: Sabihin mo, Excuse me, are you an Azkal? (Ask him if he’s an Azkal.)
Chus: Hahaha! Nagta-Tagalog and his boots are a dead giveaway—is a gay!
Me: Ay Azkla!
On my birthday Chus gave me several pairs of Happy Socks. I love them, they make excellent presents. They would make great boyfriend presents but for something my druid told me years ago. She said, Don’t give shoes, socks, or watches to persons you are romantically-involved with. (Note that she used the plural form, my druid is wise.) If you give them footwear or socks they will walk away from you, and if you give them a watch the relationship will end. (Screw the superstition, it’s the symmetry that gets me, like an ironic foreshadowing.)
So take this Patek Philippe watch away from me! Now! For the last time, I do not want a tourbillon. Haha.